You can't see this, but she got a donk. Meanwhile, her man is at the club. I am what they say, "scheming on the culo."

I didn’t want to make this post, but I had to. I’ve been inundated with so many guys talking about Modern Warfare 2: Call of Duty these days. It’s one of those first person shooter games, like Halo, that guys play for hours. It’s kind of cool because you can play online and play people who are all around the country, that’s kind of cool. Here’s the problem, some guys play that game WAY TOO MUCH. Look man if you’re playing Call of Duty for 3 hours a day, that’s a horrible way to spend your time. That’s 21 hours a week, and that’s just absurd. (Secretly, I feel like people who play these shooter games all the time have been picked on as children and they are taking out their anger by killing 20-30 people online a night. Although they end up dying more than they kill and some 12 year old is actually dominating them.) But you know, if a guy wants to play video games all the time that’s his decision, my problem is your girlfriend or significant other. She’s sitting there watching you play video games and at the same time she’s BBM’ing me telling me, “He’s playing video games again.”

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Watch this. (Only until about 4:30, trust me you’ll enjoy each minute.)

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS__QEokfGg]

Listen to me, pay attention to your significant other. Classic Dr. J advice: “Eff your girl, or someone else will.” To me, I can’t understand someone who would rather play video games than have s*x. I can only think of a few things that I would rather do than have s*x and it’s not like I’d rather do them, more like they are more important, but that’s neither here nor there. I want to bring your attention to a few things that guys do that you need to curtail if you’re in a relationship. (If you live with your significant other, you need to just stop it.)

1. Video Games – See above. But excessive video games are a problem. You have to pay absolute attention to the TV, and now they have headphones and microphones so you can talk to other gamers. You’re completely out of touch with the world when you’re doing this. Meanwhile, your girl is sitting next to you like she’s waiting for the bus in the cold.

2. Going Out All The Time – I’m sorry but it was said best to me this way, “I don’t want to be a girlfriend Monday-Thursday.” (She was not talking to me, by the way.) Look I know we like to have fun and go out. And some couples don’t like party together, but listen, if you’re in a relationship you have to cut back or take them with you. You can’t be all boo’ed up Monday-Thursday afternoon but as soon as work is over you’re at happy hour, and out in the club Friday and Saturday night. (Don’t think women don’t peep how you miserably strike out Thursday-Saturday and call them over on Sunday just to have a solid win.)

3. Excessive drug use – I feel like Black folk have had enough run-ins with drugs to last forever, but we haven’t. So if you are one of those guys who likes to kiss the sky via Mary Jane, just don’t be passing out right after or going on snack binges. Real talk, it may have been cool to smoke a joint every now and then, but when you rolling them joints back to back to back, house look like a barbecue, it’s not cool. Plus, sisters don’t like their hair smelling like weed all the time.

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Now if you don’t curtail this stuff, something is going to happen you don’t like. Jay-Z said, “It can only lead to something unfortunate, Hot boy like Jigga man scorch your b-tch.” Yes, gentlemen, if you don’t pay attention to your woman she will go get that attention elsewhere. She’ll get to texting and texting and you know who she’s texting? Some dude who is making time for her, or some chick, let’s not discriminate. Jay-Z would later say in his career, “But once a good girl’s goin bad, she’s gone forever. I’ll mourn forever, sh-t I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever.”

I put it to the readers. Ladies, care to share some stories about a tired old significant other you had to let go because he wasn’t giving you enough time? Fellas, should we fight for our right to play Madden? Speak on it.

In other news, if you are in DC, SBM.org is taking over Park tonight.  Tweet me for deets. (@DrJayJack)