Double Standards are everywhere!

I mean … some of them really suck … some of them are helpful … some of them just …well … don’t really make sense.  Most of the people that complain about double standards … also seem to benefit from others simultaneously.

Double Standards are alive and kicking strongly when it come to the sexes.  There are things that a guy can do … that’s just not acceptable for a female … and there are things a woman can do … that is unbecoming for a male … lets focus on the latter

*break* … for those of you unclear about what a double standard is …

A double standard refers to one class of entities being treated differently from another class of entities, and implies an unfair or unjustified differentiation. Double standards can be applied to many entities including people, groups, and concepts.

cite: wikipedia

So … as a public service to all of those soft, simping, lame, punk sumb*tches misinformed males … SBM presents the Double Standard guide for men … aka … sh*t she can get away with that you can’t.

Crying

I think this goes without saying.  Sure if your parent passes, someone kills your dog, you get kicked in the balls, or someone throws sand directly in your eyes (the eyebrows and eyelids don’t count) … then let the tears fly … but otherwise … man up!  Your just not allowed to cry.  Bambi’s mom got shot … man up!  Your girl just left you … man up!  You caught your best friend giving your wife the “bidness” … get the shotgun because its time for someone to die man up!

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Tongue Rings

I just polled the world on tongue rings before … and one thing that’s well agreed upon, men don’t wear tongue rings. If they do … they duck sick don’t appreciate the company of women.  I don’t care if its a stud, hoop, or a spinning glow in the dark piece … it does not belong in the mouth of a man.  On women it’s sexy and implies good fellatio kissing … but, sadly … only the first one comes to mind when a guy is doing it.

Temper Tantrum

Men can get mad … that’s our right … under law (as long as no one gets hurt)! But, to b!tch, moan, complain, or generally make a pouty face … is just not hot.  While its annoying as hell when a woman does this, and may be grounds for instant dismissal, it’s kind of expected and understood.  Women can get mad, make all kinds of faces, and I wouldn’t even be shocked if she held her breath until her face turned blue (I’m lying … wtf are ya … 5?) but it’s unbecoming for us to stoop to such levels.

Touching a stranger of the opposite sex

Ever been in a club, supermarket, or church and just had someone randomly grab or rub your chest, a**, side, or other sensitive area.  If you are a guy … you probably turned around thinking “who is looking to come home with me.” If you are a woman … you thought “who is fitting to get stabbed!”  Women can touch, rub, grope, stroke, jerk whatever they want on a man and be well received (unless she looks like she got smashed in the face with the ugly stick) … but a guy will get arrested … or stabbed … or maybe just stabbed and then arrested.  Don’t do it to yourself!

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Kissing someone of the same sex

I really don’t even feel like wasting time elaborating on this one … but let me make it clear.  Two women kissing = sexy. Two guys kissing = vomit! And I’m not just saying this as a heterosexual male … women I talk to rather see lesbian porn than gay porn.  Two women are just soft, gentle and, well, beautiful.  I’ve never seen two men have relations … but I could imagine some weird naked fight for dominance.  Have you ever heard a woman use “no homo” or “pause”?

Talking about masturbation

Just like same sex kissing … with women its this sensual and erotic moment, yet with guys its just this dirty, yet extremely necessary act.  Its like comparing a ballet to the dutty wine.  Also, if you talk about it extensively around other guys … falls into a “no homo” moment.  Talking about methods, toys, shower heads, and time … sexy for her … not for you.

Putting anything in or near your anus

Ok … I’m really not gonna explain this.  Cool for her … not for him!

I hope this public service announcement helps your average b!tch ass n***a soft guy … in addition to helping some of the women determine a soft lame … from a real break your back, throw you against the wall, and give you a screaming orgasm type of man.

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– SBM aka I’m a man’s man aka Don’t touch my booty hole