Depending on where you went to high school, college or where you currently live, you probably tend to see the same people of your ilk very often.  This logic would lend itself to the theory that you may have dated or slept with someone that has also dated/slept with someone else you know.  Like “they” say, it’s a small world.  Personally I attended a PWU (Primarily White University) that claimed to be diverse in their literature, but once I got there, all the blacks kids kept to themselves for the most part, so there was definitely a lot of cross-pollination going on and as an aspiring cocksman, I was a rather busy bee, as most college kids are.  At no point as during my delivery of the wang did it cross my mind that one day some poor sap fine gentleman would make this his future ex-wife lady.

In this day and age, a man’s worst nightmare is giving a ring to his bride, only to find out that she was her campus’ favorite past time.  Or worse, finding out that she did that trick with her tongue to one of your friends.  I’ve never been a woman, but I can imagine no woman wants to find out that her current boo was voted King Ding-a-Ling of the city 3 years in a row.  The propensity for this increases when you are swimming in the same dating pool or running in overlapping social circles with your other single friends.  I often hear the sentiment from some men that their ideal wifey material should be someone with a “low number” or better yet, a virgin.  But let’s be real, virgins are about as common as unicorns and dragons, and no matter how low a woman thinks her number is, most men cringe at the thought of more than 2 other men touring his current girl’s pleasure palace.  So imagine the panic when they find out that one of the two is his man-a-hundred grand.

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I’m still trying to figure out the reason for this type of panic.  I understand where the sentiment comes from, but still, you can’t really hold someone liable for their actions of the past. (Statute of limitations, anyone?)  Some people worry that their current boo will bump into their old flame and keep bumping.  Some people just can’t handle the thought of “sharing” a common partner, especially if that old flame had a “reputation” (i.e. King Ding-a-Ling of [insert city here]).  All in all, no one wants to be a sucker.  You don’t want to be standing off to the side by yourself at the 10 year school reunion while your boo catches up with their old starting lineup.  Nor do you want the discomfort of hearing a coworker at your water cooler reliving their exploits with your new fiance.

Of course, these scenarios seemed far fetched, but the mind is the devil’s playground and believe it or not, people think this way.  Which is fine, and if the fact that you know someone or are cool with someone that used to date/sleep with your current boo and that doesnt make you feel comfortable, run for the hills.  That fact will never change, and your mind will probably never be at ease, especially if you see that old flame a lot.  But before you pack up your ish and dip, just breathe for a second.  If you really like this person and the relationship is worth it to you, their past really should not matter (unless it was completely egregious).  If it makes you feel better, definitely talk to your partner and let them know what you feel, because rumor has it, communication makes things better.  If you really have a brass set on you, just go talk to the old flame.   And most importantly, think about your past.  If you were a busy bee yourself, you really shouldn’t be throwing stones.  Like I said earlier, it’s a small world, these things are bound to happen.  And besides…she had to practice that trick with her tongue somewhere.

Personally, I think the past is the past and that’s where it needs to stay.  But what’s good people?  How do you feel about pollinating someone else’s flower?  And what do you do if you find out someone you know used to suckle your nectar pot?  Do tell.

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