Tis the season.... Kiss me boo!
Faithful SBM readers, lurkers, and guests alike. I’d like to welcome you to a new series I’m beginning on Wednesdays called the “#NoCountryFor” series. Simply put, there are certain celebrated ideologies and ways that people move that aren’t very kosher to me. So I’m dedicating a series to those topics. OK enough chatter. Let’s talk about the fallacy sweeping social networking known as cuffing season.
We are currently one day into winter, and cuffing season apparently is upon us. Cuffing Season, is a period of time when days are shorter, nights are colder, and apparently men and women seek the comfort of a warm body besides themselves. In theory, this seems pretty genuine and even feasible. When you really thin about it though, cuffing season is the stupidest season to EVER exist! Let me point out the missteps of this alleged season.
How Lonely Are You?
People highkey solicit offers (seriously) for random men and women to lay up with them to perpetuate the importance of this season. To me this is extremely lonely! It comes off as very thirsty to request this type of “assistance”. Men and women alike, begging on the internet for someone to hold you, I mean… to each their own but desperation is an understatement. You’ll see guys and gals on twitter one day talking about how “official” they are, how sexy, how independent, and that they are good looking/a ten. My thing is, if you are all those things, then you really shouldn’t have to solicit for companionship on the internet or in real life! I don’t think the population of China has more people than some of you need right now to validate those claims.
It masks true intentions
My man lowkey said it best: “Cuffing Season” is a restricted space in time for folks who are scared to get CLOSE to someone” You limit yourself to a cuff, when what you seek is companionship. Cuffing is a moment, companionship can last forever… or longer than 3 months!
For women, this especially baffles me about you. I hear women complain constantly about men only wanting them for their bodies, that men only think about s*x, and that it’s hard to find a man who’ll love you for you. Well, don’t you think that asking for a human electric blanket during Winter defeats that purpose? Doesn’t that give off a wrong impression about your intentions? If you only wanted to cuddle and nothing else, what makes you better than the dude who tells a woman whatever they want to hear to swindle them? Same difference, no?
For Men: We will complain that a woman gets a wrong impression about our intentions, even if in this one instance you aren’t just trying to have a fcuk buddy, wouldn’t going over a woman’s house to cuddle place you in the upper room of the Friendship zone? What makes you different than a simp? Are you being true to yourself and your true intentions by visiting a young lady to spoon? Are you confusing cuff with dry hump and “just stick the tip in”?
Now, before someone tries to use swindles, I am NOT talking about people who say it in jest, we all know there’s hella people online and in real life that are dead @ss serious about Cuffing Season. For those that are, this blog is for you. Make the moves necessary to be able to have people want to cuff with you. You don’t have to campaign for companionship. The thirst is not appealing, the desperation is a turn-off, and overall it’s not a good look. The roastings you get online are great entertainment though!
At least Keith Sweat got paid to beg,
![Eff a blog dog, cause one day we gonna MEET [RUH]](https://singleblackmale.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/6_ethugs_2.jpg)
The thirst is not appealing, the desperation is a turn-off, and overall it’s not a good look.
^^^*bangs gavel* THISSSSSSSSS!
There is nothing more to be said! I applaud this post!
Props on this post.
Winter is a very lonely time… Some of us like to hibernate and would like someone to do it with us.
What makes winter more lonely than the other 3 season? lol
: Disclaimer- I am NOT for cuffing, my emo @ss WILL fall for a dude
and cut his ass when he tries to leave come Spring:But winter is lonely as hell! You're not at a BBQ every weekend like you are in the summer. People are just less social in the freezing cold months. You are home alone more, in your sweats, in your bed, fantasizing
and painting your nailsabout NOT being alone. You have holiday celebrations at which errrrrry d@mn body wants to ask why "such a nice girl" could possibly be single and "oh you're so good with kids, when are you going to have some? You know you're not getting any younger"DON'T YOU KNOW I WILL KEEEEL YOU GRANDMA!and you're around family and it's just makes you realize how much you miss companionship and that closeness true on a daily basis. When you're busy at work, in your day to day routine, it's easier to forget…when everybody around you is kissing their loved one when the ball drops there is NO WAY not to be reminded you ain't kissing no d@mn body!Just a few reasons that the winter is indeed a more lonely time
and these hoes be cuffin so I can't even hang with my single girls anymore!.HAH @ Star!!! I caught that 'painting your nails' lol!
Like I said… I'm hibernating! When it gets warm again I will be out and about but for now…
I wrote a blog about Cuffing Season a couple of months ago. While, I'm not a fan of it, to each it's own. Check out my post here.
http://savvydating.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/its-c…
Perhaps if I was cuddled up right now I would be asleep lol.. cuffing is best when it's with someone you love, not with a stranger who responded to your ad on craigslist 😉
Co-sign!!!!!! I don't believe in the "winter cuffing phenomenon" but then again I live in Cali and enjoy warm weather.#lovemystate
" If you only wanted to cuddle and nothing else, what makes you better than the dude who tells a woman whatever they want to hear to swindle them? Same difference, no?"
..the fact that they are upfront about what they want? Yes, the other party may interpret the situation differently, but how many times do I hear guys complaining about the fact that women don't listen even though all the cards are laid out from jump?
All that said, I can't get with any of the stuff I read. If people are that desperate for a warm body, I'm sure there are friends of the opposite sex who'd be more than happy to oblige. As for me, polystyrene beaded pillows are the best snuggle buddies ev-ar! #All night, every night.
First and foremost a man isn't going anywhere to "spoon" and "cuddle"……swindle! lol
As for cuffing season, many a winter went by and I was uncuffed…and it didn't bother me. I guess, when you have kids and other things to make you feel content it doesn't affect you as much…..but, I get where you are coming from..some people just cannot be alone..I'd rather be alone then have some man getting on my friggin nerves that I don't even really like..so that I can be held or cuffed up…nah, I will pass.
Good post Streetzie! 🙂
This [seasonal] cuffing sh*t? #ForTheBirds. I don't think it was necessary to experience the whole fiasco
when it's just simple enough to get regular annual/occasional @ss. And I never got why it's exclusive for winter. I'm sure everyone can make my their own heat this winter. Instead of a human electric blanket, I got my snuggie.#AndThenIHitMySnuggie (shoutout to @NIAnaturally)
Ehh, then it's going to be summer time. And #NoCountry for "Cool Off Cuffing Buddies".
Streetz, I didn't even have to think to know it was you that wrote this. That and it's Wednesday.
By the way (hope this doesn't go unanswered), where did the #NoCountry hastag originate? (don't say twitter)
Cuffing. I have never even heard of this term until this morning. So if I am right, it means that you have a sex partner for the winter only…or does it mean that you don't have a sex partner but you have a cuddle arrangement? That doesn't even sound right.
I was curious about the NoCountry thing too, I know that there's a movie called No Country for Old Men and I'm sure that it came from that — just led to No Country for (insert various things in life).
The thing is, it's a movie with all of these old crusty actors that I have no interest in seeing so I could not BEGIN to tell you the plot. I don't think that anybody else can either, which makes the term even more appropo.
Back to cuffing…so let's just say you met someone and you're into them and it happens to be winter. Now you have this whole cuffing thing over your head like…does he really like me or does he just want to cuff me? Way to add paranoia about your status in the dating game. Do you have to wait until the spring to find out? And then if he sticks around you can say Phew, I'm straight?!
That's some B.S..
Yeah, Streetz twit-informed me that it originated from the movie. Funny that such a hash can come from an "old" movie. But with the whole cuffing movement, it's pretty much being under pretenses of liking an individual to get some skin time, face time, @ss/peen time, etc. while jeopardizing the balance of feelings – if someone slips and catches them of course (no STD)
You're spot on as far as cuffing season is concerned except sex is usually included.
As far as No Country For Old Men – the movie… it was great. Watch it, I promise you won't be disappointed – it has one of the all time great villains in the history of film.
I co-sign the movie "No Country For Old Men"…that joint was SO GOOD! The psycho killer in that movie makes all other psycho killers look lame….
Wow, thanks QueenT and Most, I had no idea it was a thriller…now I'm more inclined to give it a look see. I thought it was more of a drama.
I know what movie I will watch during the vacation. lol! I thought it was a corny movie about old men.
Me too Kema! That's why I never watched it. They really need to watch what kind of titles they put on these darn movies!
I just wanted to add a cosign to No Country For Old Men being a great movie.
This post is comical…
But the truth of the matter is some people spend their summer months (campaigning and interviewing potential candidates) Dating just for. Cuffing Season and then April rolls around and Spring Clean-Up begins.
Me personally I like to hibernate during the winter months I hardly go out but I don't need to be cuffed to enjoy it — that's what blankets/hot cocoa/my furbabies (shorkie and a yorki-poo) are for.
To each their own though.
Great Post. So agree. I am getting solicited to partake in the "cuff season" festivities. Yes, I'm in one of the coldest damn states there is, MinneSNOWta, but I'm not that desperate
only on long cold winter nights in whiteout conditions and there's nothing on the tube.. But not falling for the #swindle..If I'm not in a relationship, which I'm not currently, I'm not seeking out a warm body to get next to, for the soul purpose of warming his chestnuts, in my open fire. First that means I would have to come to your house, cause I have kids, not coming to mine, that aint happening. Then at some point have to leave your house, and I'm in the cold… nope…can't do it.. Sorry, lil selfish when it comes to me being cold.. Not that serious, I can put on a snuggie
don't have one of those, put on some socks, and turn on my space heater in my room lol.lmao @ "…warming his chestnuts, in my open fire". Im stealing this. hahaha
LOL… go for it, I might have read it somewhere… lol.. it popped in my head, so I wrote it…. I didn't think I was that clever
sometimes… but hey maybe…How long does cuffing season last? Just through official winter or until the weather breaks…end of March/April?
I believe until the Spring Solstice (Mar 21st)
Streetzie, this:
"Well, don’t you think that asking for a human electric blanket during Winter defeats that purpose?"
made me spit my expensive-ass Americano alllll over my screen. A human electric blanket?!?
I'm with you though. Cuffing season is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Yea, I was cracking up at that too lol
http://bitchielife.necolebitchie.com/2010/09/anno…
OK, that was my post in September about Cuffin' Season, but I had to post that because yesterday i'm on twitter searching for it and I saw how many other blogs were about it and I thought it was great to be a part of that.
Be right back.
This sounds like another #swindle facilitated by men that want to feed the notion that women love to cuddle. End result… "If she cuffing, she is f-cking."
No different than the bs that many women have bought into about having "emotionless" sex. It's a win-win for dudes.
Wait – what?
Emotionless sex is bs??
Of course, that comment doesn't apply to Max-logic… lol
Unfortunately my friend, I think that we, the ladies, have to take credit for the cuffing epidemic…it's rent-a-man to cuddle with an expiration date. All we did was take away the expectation of fidelity
is that even an expectation anymore!?!and put a timer on it. That's ALWAYS been the man's plan! Some chicks just got extra lonely in the cold, less socially active winter and agreed to these egregious terms under the guise (OMG, thank God I reread, I actually spelled that "guys" – I am so ashamed! Commence judgment.) of some cutesy, cuddly name. If it were more aptly name "Fack-n-Flee" season or "Sex on a String for Sadsacks til Spring" season maybe people wouldn't be so hyped to jump on the bandwagon.No, sadly, this isn't the creation of man… They're always trying to jizz and split. Some chick just said, we'll it's cold and I'm not trying to freeze my assets off going out in this cold, so I'ma import some lesser quality in-home manmeat that I can stand in this, my season of desperation and in return for his consistency, warmth, cuddles and false sense of companionship, I shall bestow gifts of sex on him
that she totally wants TOO!and turn a blind eye to his scandalousness cuz I'm not keeping him anyway.It's not for me, but it's most def bred from the minds of women
although warmly welcomed by men…Her: You trying to cuff this winter?
Him: Lemme get this straight: So you're asking if I'd like to swing through at will, eat ya food, let you pretend to be wifey, let you wash my draws, have you entertain my buddies on game days, eff you at will and then come the first buds of Spring you want me to bounce?
Bish you crazy? I been trying to get you to do this since I met yo @ss!Hmmm, sure boo, I think it's time we make this step in our "relationship". You know…I spoil you.Pure FACKERY!
Bish you crazy? I been trying to get you to do this since I met yo @ss! Hmmm, sure boo, I think it’s time we make this step in our “relationship”. You know…I spoil you.*
*lmao*
Leave it to Star to tap into the nitty gritty of ish
*beaming* Thank you ma'am *tips hat*
See? You've been brainwashed… literally… lol. Now they don't have to do the work, they have you and others on board to perpetuate this myth.
Baby, I'm so anti cuffin it isn't even funny…for the record.
I want to add something here…I really do but Streetz pretty much covered it all.
I hope you don't think users are the only abusers.
I'm going to take this opportunity to talk to herbs.
Real men know that it's best not to involve yourself in Cuffin Season. You want no pre-existing plans during this season. It's like fishing and there's a school of fish in the water. Literally, you can just fiddle around on your cell phone and gchat during this season and get a chick to come over or let you come over. Trust me, don't cuff, you have to be that creepy police officer who pulls over attractive women for speeding just to see what they'll do to get out the ticket. Stop thinking about your badge and think about your nightstick.
OK, i'm done for the day. LMAO.
I havent heard the word 'herb' used in a while. I heart you for that son. 🙂
@Storm – that word jumped out at me as well…herb…LOL
Lol, I thought I was the only one who wasn't initially familiar with the term. Based on the OP, I thought it was an arrangement in which all parties knew the deal. If there is misleading going on, that's even more sad/pathetic. I'm too selfish to share my personal space with randoms. My body, too.
I'm glad that I, too, was not the only person who was not familiar with the term. But if cuffing leads to f*cking (in most instances), why can't we just call this what it is (a f*ck buddy, cut buddy, etc.)??? (Do people still use those terms? Uh, did I just show how I'm NOT up on my urban vernacular???) Honesty is the best policy and we're all adults, so I think people should be open with what they want… #justsaying
On to other things…with this statement-Make the moves necessary to be able to have people want to cuff with you-how does one prove him/herself worthy of being cuffable?
I have never bought into cuffing season, even though every fall I get at least one offer. I don't see the purpose in it, because come spring you are right where you left off. Unless you are building or rebuilding some type of past flame or holding your place for a real relationship later, the brave get out there and try to find the right person no matter what the season.
This whole post is on point, especially the cuffing v.s. companionship part. Why waste time on a temporary solution for a long term problem? Just find someone that potentially will be around every season.
I don't believe you… you need more people.
I've never heard of cuffing before. I guess I've been under a rock or worse, in a long distance military relationship for almost a decade. Anyhoo, now that I've entered the single world, I've got alot of vocabulary to familiarize myself with. Spending winter alone is much more peaceful than settling. Maybe those desperate folks should try falling in love with themselves some more. It'll last longer. Those down comforters make winter much more tolerable than some random person. Great post, I enjoyed reading it.
hahaha I love this Streetz…so true about the cuddle really being a dry hump. Who are people fooling! It is what is it. Thank you for shedding light.
Sorry I am late to the party …. catching up on blogs!
LOL THIS!! I have a goose down comforter and duvet to keep me warm in the Winter.
I love this expression #NoCountryFor
P.S.That picture is hilarious!