Mr. Spradley writes an excellent piece on 5 Things He’ll Teach His Son About Women. If you’ve never read it, I would take a look at it when you get a chance. Now I thought I’d try and take a stab at a post just like that but about my daughter. Most men are scared as hell to think that one day they might have a daughter. We think back on every interaction we’ve had with women in our past and we would be appalled if someone did some of that stuff to our daughters. Not that we’ve been bad men, but we all have our share of regrets and disappointments. Most men have broken a girl’s heart, even though they didn’t intend to hurt her. Most men have been relied on by a woman at times and subsequently was unable to fulfill the responsibility. When we sit down and think that this may happen to our daughter, it troubles us. Today, I take a look at the ten things that I would want to teach my daughter or tell my daughter.

Now keep in mind, this is Dr. J writing… I’m just being real. Let’s begin with a quote.

“Sometimes I am walking with my daughter, I’m talking to my daughter, I’m looking at her, I’m pushing her in the stroller. And sometimes I pick her up and I just stare at her and I realize my only job in life is to keep her off the pole. Keep my baby off the pole! I mean they don’t grade fathers but if your daughter is a stripper you f*cked up.”

1. Don’t be wack.

I would love to tell you not to talk to boys or that if you kiss a boy you’ll turn into a frog. I would love to tell you that if you have sex, you’ll die, so never have sex. I would love to tell you all of that, but it makes no sense whatsoever. I don’t want to know the details of your sex life, but just don’t be wack. I remember how men used to talk about the girls who weren’t putting out or who were wack in general, don’t be like that. I’m not telling you to go YOLO’ing your life away, I’m just saying, don’t be wack.

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2. All men have the predator gene. Keep this in mind when using social networking platforms.

Wayne Gretzky, his daughter Paulina and her Halloween costume pictures from Instagram.

I’m a man, however, whenever I get friended on Facebook or allowed to follow a person on Twitter, I go straight for all their pictures. Within minutes of accepting a friend request, I’ve already seen all of a girl’s Spring Break pictures. All men have that same gene, they can’t help it. It might be harmless, but everyone of us have the power to “do the creep.”

3. I’m your best friend, not your mom.

Your mom’s job is different than mine. Your mom’s job is to nurture you and care for you, she will always be flawed in that she will shield you from the pain you need in order to be great. My job is to provide for you and in order to do that, I have to prepare you. I look at those women who are afraid to tell their father anything or that believe they are Daddy’s little princess and I think that’s the worst. I don’t want to create another spoiled princess in this world, I want to create the coolest woman on the planet. This means that no matter what, you can always come to me and tell me anything. You can also rely on me to give you an honest opinion, even it hurts me and/or you.

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