This is a rather new concept, ‘slider’ and ‘decider’, that highlights the difference in how men approach relationships.
Which category does your boyfriend fall into?When it comes to relationships, it can be difficult to know what direction you two are going in. Will you be a successful couple? When will his parents meet you, and will that go well? If you get married someday, will it work in the long run? These aren’t easy questions to answer, but there are certain kinds of daters who statistically seem to do less well in longterm relationships.
According to new research, men fall into two long-term dating categories: “sliders” and“deciders.” Sliders are men either who take the next step because they think it is the “right” thing to do; they slide into it. Deciders do it because they truly want to; they made a conscious decision.
The trouble with sliders is that they are 40 percent more likely to get divorced than deciders — something that could make anyone worried when it comes to settling down with a partner they want to completely commit to.
So, the question is: Is your boyfriend a slider or a decider?
[Find out exactly what your man is at YourTango]
Q: But what type of man is 100% guaranteed to never get divorced?
A: The type of man who doesnt get married!
hi-yooooooooo
I prefer a man to say hey I want to marry you saying "I think you are right for me and I couldn't see myself without you" versus "eh, it was the next step or it was something I needed to do". Or is that to much of romanticizing the situation?
My recent post Blurred Lines
I remember meeting up with an ex of mine who (at the time) had been married for a year. I asked him how was married life. His response, "It is what it is." I then asked why did he even get married if that's how he feels about it. "I felt like it was what I was suppose to do it at this point in my life."
2 years and a kid later, he's happily divorced.
or how about this stupid reply one buddy told me [after he divorced his first wife], NONE OF US EVER saw them as a match. I asked what made you married her, he tells me… "I DIDN'T HAVE A REASON NOT TO"…………okay, marinate on that shit. LOL
this makes sense, if your heart isnt really in it, eventually you will leave at first opportunity like Dwight Howard.
INDEED
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truth be told, a lot of dudes get married because they feel like_
1) its what they are supposed to be doing_
2) circle of friends is getting married_
3) family expectations 'boy why you ain't married yet?'_
4) going along just to get along, i.e., she said "if we ain't married by __2013…?"__
and that is not to say that they don't love their wives, I'm sure many of them do. _
But I know for some, its just Going Through The Motions. __
I also know some dudes who really WANTED their mates and marriage
and all that goes with it. Seeing the difference between the
2 types is very fascinating to watch…from the outside looking in. 😉
That #2 is REAL!!! more than people think.
i know a couple of guys who felt the sudden urge to marry the next woman who either crossed their path or just threw a ring on their ON AGAIN/OFF AGAIN GF and said "I DO" just because his boy got hitched and he didn't want to feel like he was missing out. YUP!!! it happens. *smh*
I'm feeling this. There is def a difference between the two…
The decider, both male and female, is ideal…but still, nothing is guaranteed unless you keep doing the work to keep it working.
Well this makes perfect since the decider has already prepared himself or herself for marriage. It's like the decider is already married they just haven't met the person to commit to having already committed the idea and expectations of marriage they are ready to put in the time and effort to make it work. It's not foolproof but as they say preparation over procrastination. Is this really news?
Sliders vs deciders seems interesting but the overwhelming majority of divorces are initiated by women. Is there a part two where we see which type of woman is most likely to file to divorce? Do we talk about which type of woman will seek alimony? Why whether you slide or decide into a marriage its 50/50 if it will last? Or will we continue to act like if a marriage fails it is the mans fault.
It sounds like “sliding” is a response to the enormous pressure to get married men face. Why do men get married because its “the right thing to do?”
Tbe end game is happily ever after vs divorce. I would sure hate to slide into a marriage, support my family, and be thanked with divorce/alimony/child support/limited visitation. I would straight hate to decide that’s what I wanted. I’d rather continue doing me and read more “where have all the good men gone?” articles?
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