“Why don’t men want to put in any work?”

I guess this is an age old question. Hell, I might get get a question like this at least once a week. It’s well documented that dating if nothing else can be tricky. So many nuances are involved. You’re always thinking so defensively. What should you be looking out for? Essentially isn’t that why  blogs like this exist? We seek to add perspective to give women a better idea. If nothing else, we’d love for you to leave here with clearer understanding of something.

When I deal with the miscellaneous things relationships bring I like to keep things simple. I thought about reasons I wouldn’t put in work for a woman. There was only one reason why I wouldn’t. If I had no interest in dating someone regularly then I wouldn’t feel inclined. Among the  litany of reasons we can come up with they all come back to that one. As a woman if you’re constantly wondering why you aren’t getting the treatment you desire, this could be why.

Truth be told with the advent of all these new tools in social media and online dating, guys are as impatient as ever. There’s so many women available to a man with a simple click or swipe. A woman can’t make a man patient (for the buns) by mandate. A woman makes a man patient by simply being a dope woman. If the chemistry you have with someone is legit a man won’t mind courting you. Guys are lazy with women who they feel isn’t worth the extra time and effort.

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There’s nothing wrong with a guy’s logic here.

As women you all always reserve the right to drop a guy you’re talking to. Some of you have done so even when to the naked eye everything couldn’t be better. So always remember you’re not bound to any one person. If the vibe isn’t such that a guy isn’t courting you then you let that fish go.

Conversely, the women I have found to want to court held my interest in different areas.

Someone on instagram asked “What keeps a man after sex?” I simply told them that it’s case sensitive. But generally speaking if you’re laid back, funny and intelligent that’s a great start. On the point about being funny, well other people have to find you funny as well. Dating will be a thousand times easier for the ladies the less you tolerate bullsh*t. Bullsh*t is a general term. So what I mean by bullsh*t is tolerating anything that you feel you shouldn’t. The faster you move on the less time you’ll waste. It’ll be less time you’ll spend think about the bullsh*t.

Your guy is out there. He’s willing to put the work in. Maybe you’ve just been spending too much time on…the bullsh*t. We want better for you here at SBM. But that doesn’t mean much. You’ve got to want better for yourself. Let it start today.

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What are your experiences being a guy not wanting to put in work with a woman? Ladies how have you experienced guys  who haven’t tried to court you?

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status