You don’t plan to crash your car … but you get insurance … right?!
You don’t plan to fall on your motorcycle … but you wear a helmet (at least I do) … right?
So why not get a prenup?
*Disclaimer*: Just for all you overly sensitive individuals reading (you know who you are) … that was a joke. A prenup is not just “marriage insurance”.
There has been a relatively recent groundswell movement in the push for prenuptial agreements. Kanye West made the phrase “We want prenup!” extremely popular with his radio hit “Golddigger”. While I have no stats to show if they have gained popularity over time (the resident “stat man” can do that for me), I think its a pretty safe assumption that they have.
I am taking this time to officially declare that I want … nay … DEMAND a prenuptial agreement from my future spose.
Oddly enough, this seems to have not gained a lot of ground with women. I am constantly faced with statements like:
“A prenup means your already thinking about divorce”
“I’m not marrying any man who would ask me to sign a prenup … its disrespectful”
“Any man who wants a prenup is secretly on the down low” (dumb broad)
And more stupid statements that would make anyone with half a brain give that “WTF” look.
So I’ve decided to outline just a few of the reasons why prenups are good, why women (or some of you soft men) shouldn’t fear them, and whatever tickles my fancy.
It’s not all about Money!
One common misconception is the soul purpose of a prenup is to divvy up assets in the case of a divorce and protect someone’s money. This isn’t the case. Prenups can and have included provisions such as how often sex occurs, is she going to swallow, will he ever cook, and does the cooch get eaten. Its a basic contract between two people. You can put in whatever craziness that you want.
It’s sad but true … but divorce happens
The divorce rate has been over 50% for awhile now. It was in college or high school when I first heard that “chilling” statistic. I doubt many of those people got married with plans to divorce the “love of their life”, but in the end, they got divorced. Suppose I get a promotion, work 60 hour weeks, and my wife decides to blow the gardner, the mailman, and that special kid in the neighborhood that just turned 18. I have to give her half of my stock options now! Shoot me!
It could help save your marriage
Since divorce has gotten so popular, I feel like people may be a little quicker to run to it as a crutch nowadays instead of putting in the work to actually fix the marriage. I don’t want the fact that you (or me) might be able to walk away with an easy million and receive checks every month for another $5000 for the rest of my/your life as incentive to leave. Now that money is out of the equation … you’ll actually show up for those marriage counseling meetings.
Punish those who need to be punished
I’m not … nor do I ever think I will be a fan of cheating. I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of) and I have never cheated on a significant other. I will definitely have a clause indicating you don’t get sh*t if you cheat. Get that new n*gga to pay for your car note.
I lose because you lied?
So … if the “love of your life” has lied to you about something big (she was born a man, he has 8 kids he forgot to mention, she/he is infertile … and lied about it) … then you could potentially still have to forfeit 50% of your holdings even though you were done wrong. That’s just not right.
Lets just keep it fair
Generally speaking, God forbid … but if divorce looks to be the best way to go … then it seems fair that you leave with what you came in with. There is no “break up court”. People have relationships that have lasted longer and meant more than most marriages, but their is no judge to give them a settlement. I’m all about fairness in life … same with my marriage.
I hope I was able to imbue you all with a little bit of knowledge and have turned you into a fellow support of the “I Want Prenup!” movement. Viva la prenup!
I am going to start the day with happy thoughts.
I am going to agree with this post today.
whew that was hard…..
What if the man made considerably less…I'd look at him like he had three eyeballs.
nonwithstanding…
I would sign the sh#$t BUT I'd have so many clauses and loopholes he'd be begging me to take some money by the time it ever saw day light in a courtroom. Why so harsh and bitter you ask (as you always do)? Well at face value, on some level I agree, a woman (or MAN) who only had the notion to get paid in our union should exit stage left with his samsonite. BUT marriage are partnerships on EVERY conceivable level.
What about women who support men through medical school. I thought about this many times. What happens when he gets a practice and midlife crisis. Not withstanding cheating there are other things that could make him unbearable. Hell HE could decide to go. Why does a prenup suppose the woman would bounce. Men sometimes leave. So what does a woman get who helped pay down his loans ? What does she get when he decides that he can't afford a secy, an assistant, a cleaning lady, a nurse, an accounts recievable person. And she becomes all those things.
I tell you what she gets….she gets HALF of a 2 million dollar revenue generating practice, for all the years SHE helped him build it FOR FREE.
prenup clauses are for women who NEVER thought a man would leave, that a man would cheat, that he just doesn't want to be married anymore.
Women have a right to be compensated for the undocumented work that they do as HELP MATES. We won't even run the numbers on what a stay at home mother is worth on the street…its somwhere around 110k. Do the math. Do the math.
I personally would never use a prenup and would never sign one. stubbern perhaps but its my morals.
with that said I would recomend most menespecialy black men… not sign a prenup either.
women have to have something to lose to keep them honest. they understand money too well. I see alot of situations where the woman ducks out and its usually because of $$$$ in some way shape or form. if she has nothing to lose…. that promotes her doing things more dangerous and outlandish.
think about it like this.. grandma loved grandpa! they really did love eachother. but one of the things that kept grandma from leaving grandpa was the fact that if she did anything stupid and lost the reltionship… we would be living back home with her parents and would prob never get married again. she would lose her entire way of life.
Hmmm should I go home tonight or should I hang out in the back of the club with my single friends?
I know the first thing many of you will say is how dare he invent artificial ways to keep us in relationships! but its removing temptation… not FORCEFULLY putting someone into a relationship. When we have nothing to lose we dont have a healthy respect for things… here let me put it in female terms. Yo man wants to go hang out with his ex babymama… you know.. dat bish that you hate more than life. Well since he and her are so kool and have so much history … he thinks it shouldnt be a problem if him and her go away (just the 3 of them) on vacation to disney world for a week. if your feelin like you have nothing to lose…. your response will prob lean more towards doin what da hell you want and not have a healthy respect or fear of losing anything.
I myself blame the rise on how much women make for the raise in divorce rate. I mean… the race with the highest divorce rate and the only race where the women make more than the men…… I dont need to be a math major to start to draw conclusions.
"I personally would never use a prenup"
And for obvious Monetary reasons.
————
"women have to have something to lose to keep them honest"
bull crap….first of all I don;t know what numbers you looking at but divorces (with cause) are usually intiated on some level by MEN (he cheated or he wants out). The above statement on keeping them honest is WHY WOMEN STAY. But NOTHING will keep a man if he don't want you. Take the rose colored glasses off. TAKE THEM OFF. And welcome to the 21st century.
your living in the past comeback…. 1995 we walked out of relationships to try and stick out secrtary.. men arent cheating anymore on that level its more women now.
your the one living in the 20th century and in black romance novels and movies where the black men are no good.
The reason why you guys are single is the same reason why we have stoped cheating. ITS TOO MUCH EFFORT AND NOT WORTH IT. If I had the choice between staying home and waiting for tiffany to call while she is on her "business trip" to florida (intentional pause) and playing me some XBox and going to work the next day… or running around the streets tryin to poke some 20 year old white chick with a big booty…. guess which one I am going to choose? becky dosent have a chance in this situation.
Think about it… why would divorce rate go up but the amount of money WE make has stayed the same?!??!!?!?!?
In 2008 you turn down my requests for a date…. ya that wouldnt happen in 1985. in 1985 you would be making 20k and I as a man would somehow be making 55k. your livelyhood would be based on you staying. if you cant respect a date… how do you think your peers will respect a long term contract that dosent benefit "them" and the "do me" SITC lifestyle?
I dont have a single male friend who is over the age of 22 who is single because he left his woman. ALL of my male friends have been left by their woman, one is a widower and the rest are victims of cheating women. in a few of the cases it was them going out on dates with some guy who had more money and more mystery.
once again, scroll back in my post. I even say we (my friends and I) all have to pitch in and help out eachother with the kids since more than one of them are now single dads.
Perhaps this is just a north east thing? but more likely its a welcome to 2008 thing.
oh, Zales is having a special.
we can do this next weekend if you want. since men cheat so much and all. lets put your 80k salary good looks and pedigree against my 31k and morals and see who cheats first.
first and only line in the prenup shal read he or she who files for divorce will forfeit their right to any assets.
you wear a size 6 ring right? your a princess cut type gal right?
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOo @ Comeback & the "loop holes & clauses that he'd be beggin' you to take the money"…that's about how it would be for me as well!!!!!
I'm a little on the fence with this one. If I married a man who was loaded I wouldn't take offense to the prenup as long as it stated that earnings made during the marriage are considered community. What a man has before he meets me I should not be privy to taking…but once getting married, if i'm "succn, fuggn, and shutting the hell up"(shout out to mystery) then I deserve my half of said earnings made. Especially if I'm keeping his house in order and raising his kids. Besides, prenup or not there are provisions in the law that allow for mothers and spouses who have put in time and work to reap the benefits if a divorces occurs.
Now if he has nothing there is no need for a prenup, since we'll be building our wealth together. And I have to be honest, as much fun as dating a millionaire(athlete in most cases) is, it comes with a headache that no amount of money can make better. For example, my homegirl was dating this dude, he bought her a Mercedes for Valentine's Day but she lost 20 pounds in that relationship from stressing out all the time…and she was already small before the weight loss. Another homegirl had 2 miscarriages from her husband(another athlete) from always stressing out over chics and the nonsense. I have since sworn off men w/ excessive funds from my personal experience and those of people I know, it's just not worth it these days. Give me an upper middle class hard working man anyday.
But if for some reason the lord sees fit to "bless" me with a mogul, then so be it…bring on the prenup.
" For example, my homegirl was dating this dude, he bought her a Mercedes for Valentine’s Day but she lost 20 pounds in that relationship from stressing out all the time…and she was already small before the weight loss. Another homegirl had 2 miscarriages from her husband(another athlete) from always stressing out over chics and the nonsense. I have since sworn off men w/ excessive funds from my personal experience and those of people I know, it’s just not worth it these days. Give me an upper middle class hard working man anyday."
So the only way in FL to marry someone "LOADED" is if he's an athlete???? You have sworn off men with "excess funds" ???? how much in excess ?? just curious.
^^that isn't one of those short bus stupid questions btw…i just REALLY AM CURIOUS. what's considerd excess.
Hell yeah we want prenup. Fuck the bullshit
– http://www.anythingblack.net
Florida is an athletic Mecca…Tampa being the Mecca of all Mecca's…lol. Marrying an athlete isn't the only way but it's a sure fire way. We have 3 professional football teams(league minimum being 285K annually for a rookie) and 2 professional basketball teams(higher league minimum)…not to mention baseball(even higher league minimum), the Yankees have their training down here and then we have the Marlins, and 3 minor league baseball teams. Also this is Florida and golf is a HUGE deal down here, we have a PGA golf course in 4 cities including Jax. We used to have NFL Europe training camp down here also, last year was the last year of that league…but along with that we have several Arena Football teams and Hockey teams. And how could I forget about boxing(insane how much they make for one fight), Roy Jones Jr. and Antonio Tarver hail from the great state of Florida and reside in Tampa and Orlando…South Florida is a breeding ground for professional boxers to train as well…so it's safe to say that we have the athletic market on lock.
And then you have the celebrities who FREQUENT Miami, Tampa and Orlando. I lived in Tampa and Orlando and most of the guys who approached me were athletes or musicians.
One thing Florida is not though is progressive. There is only one metro city here and it's a small metro city, that city being Tampa. People make good money here but it's not NYC or D.C. or ATL money. This is the state where people with money come to retire. But it's getting better, we're a content people down here, we don't require a lot. My idea of excess is anything over 150k annually. The cost of living is bupkis down here so it doesn't take a lot to live comfortably.
I understand the draw to FL…I don't think yall pay any state income taxes and there's something else I can't remember…maybe the palm trees. Its a nice place to live. I was just a little confused on the whole athlete thing.
I always told an ex of mine that if we were to get married that I'd make him sign one. He would look at me like I was crazy. I'm not giving any man half of anything. Real Estate; money; etc..etc..You leave what you came with. PERIOD.
Ok I have watched a lotta divorce court so this is what im basing my answer on, feel free to correct me
If a couple happens to get divorced and the wife has stayed at home with kids for a number of years (depending on what state) she is able to collect alimony, which the judge makes for a number of years based on how long she has been home + what ever the child support order is. So stay at home mom should be able to comfortably live and assuming she wasn't a bump on a long she has some skills to get back into the work force and make some money. House gets sold and what ever else accumulated during the marriage.
option 2, if no kids are involved then whats yours is yours and mine is mine because in our married years I should have been working and making money sure he may have a little more than me (MAYBE) when its all said and done but I am an able body working woman so my lifestyle shouldn't change to much, maybe sell a benzo or 2 and I will be back in business.
so with both those I would say a prenup is fine, and well if we are both broke then it doesn't matter anyway.
Yep Comeback there is no state income tax and our gas is still under the national average in Jax. I think the average is $4.09 and at it's highest at $5.17 in some places, we've been sitting at $3.92 for the past week…this morning it did jump to $3.95 but still well under. And I'm sure the sandy beaches, palm trees and highs in the mid 70's in Jan and Feb has something to do with it.
But yeah our state is a breeding ground for athletes, even on the college level with FSU, UF, UM and UCF…shit an even high school with Bolles and several others winning the national championships. So we have athletes, musicians and hella dope boys…lol. The dope game is crazy down here…and as much as I despise dope boys they are not going anywhere. Even the corporate guys have fronts down here for legal businesses…it's crazy…athletes are usually the safe choice if you MUST have a man who's loaded.
"Even the corporate guys have fronts down here for legal businesses"
You mean the corp guys are running to South America and Cuba for "stuff"…is that why all the cubans got the money in Miami? I never seen so many brown people with bentley's in my life. Please expound.
Getting half for nothing is an idea as old as the dinosaurs. Women who want "half" of "community funds" after marriage or being flat out ridiculous. Heather Mills never recorded any music. Juanita Jordan never bounced a basketball. Maids and nannies don't get paid millions – why should women get millions for divorcing a celebrity.
This is a cruel extension of women's liberation and traditional relationships. Again, women want the benefit of being independent but they want the 1950s treatment when it comes to the money. Women got half back inthe days because women didn't earn an income and a destitute female divorcee was bad for society. Guess what – women have a job now.
Let's not even mention situations where women make more than men or the men make nothing. The guys rarely take any money – they don't even try. But women try to bankrupt a ninja…wtf!
My prenupt will stipulate that my wife to be gets none of the money *I worked for before the marriage and a very small fraction during the marriage. She is entitled to receive what she needs to sustain herself after we split. If she doesn't earn my money, she's not entitled to it. If women wanna act like men – Man Up and take care of yourself and stop leechin and goldigging.
DIT TO
I co-sign with anti
ya I have been privy to situations where the wife makes over 70k and the husband has to pay alamony.
My best friend works, his babymother didnt… she got custody of their child somehow.so why does he have custody now you ask? she got tired of being a mommy one day and droped her off wor a weekend… that turned into her being gone with no contact for 2 months.
Juanita jordan didnt bounce a balll, but she sure nuff was there for the whole thing. Same way goes for men, Im actually looking forward to my first divorce from my first black wife… since I seem to be dating so many women with PHD's and women with emotional ADD. IM gonna get fuggin PAID SON!! black women make more than us… fuk a prenup! Only prenup I will sign is one thats hardcore and says some gangster shit like "if you cheat you lose" or something that has to do with breaking the marriage nulls your claim for any assets.
if you dont want to share your money… be a spinster and leave all yo cheddah to your cats. the costs on plug in vibrators is getting pretty cheap.
*FELL*
Anti, you cant marry with that attitude.
How can we build together if we are always worried about failure and personal gain? your sounding like the women now.
How do you buy a house? who pays to get it fixed? what happens if she has more $ in the beginning… you buy a house together but she pays more… then while together you begin to make more?
I still remember the year my ex first said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I think I made over 62,000 that year between bloomberg, the bookstore and refereeing. IF we had been married and I signed a prenup that would have been foolish. I brought 14,000 into the house in 2005. I was working at a carwash with a bunch of mexicans. Our combined household income was 87,000… you do the math. the point of being married is to be there ALWAYS… not just when its advantagous to your own personal goals. In 2000 I thought I was never going to make less than that bloomberg salary, I thought my bookstore would always be in business and I thought the economy was going to be rock solid. I didnt kick wifey to the curb because she worked at the local deli. you have to play the game like your a bit vulnerable to really enjoy it. you could buy 70 shares of VM ware stock…. or you can get wifey a car so you can make your lives easier. You HAVE TO forsake your finances and personal future to make a combined future. cant play this game shook son!
I think I said this yesterday so I will say it again. You cant practice with a garden hose and then expect to put the water on full blast with a fire hose when the time comes. You have to practice like you play and play like you expect to win.
translation… dont do this shit half assed@@
oh and stedman deserves his $$ too.
Comeback I know a guy who has held a steady and lucrative job for 15 years, only to find out that he has "businesses" down in Miami and Sarasota. And yes that's why the Cubans are loaded in South Florida…I don't want to stereotype them all, but for the most part men(Cubans, Blacks, Whites) down in Miami who aren't athletes and driving Bentleys are bosses. You can hear it in every Rick Ross song to date…and the sad part is that these nuckleheads are running around here trying to become a boss when only a minute fraction of them actually make it…and for what…a quick buck…idiots I tell ya.
Anti that's a bit much, how much should Juanita get for raising his kids, taking care of home, helping out with his foundation, supporting him when he fucks up and steps out while still maintaining a smile on her face in the midst of all of the adultery. What do women get for that…shit you can't pay me ENOUGH money to raise your child while your out living the life and hanging out in the streets. It's a lonely world when married to a "celebrity" or a man who's loaded. You honestly don't think that they deserve something in return, especially if they forfeited their careers to wake up at 4:30am to make you a fruit salad before your morning workout, and to be home at 11am when you're ready for lunch, not to mention dinner and whatever else the hell men want…all the while keeping your shit clean and in order…what do you say to that?
And I believe that men who marry well to do are also entitled if they have been there to support their women through it all…this situation should definitely not be a one-sided one.
"be a spinster and leave all yo cheddah to your cats"
Exactly…I mean where the cats gonna leave. They need pate (accent over the e), air conditioning, heat, flat screen tvs, and assistants..after i'm on the fire place in an urn…overlooking my little feline muffins.
I am all for prenups.
I think it's just smart. It does not mean (not to me at least) that you are betting on your marriage ending. It is not just to protect a man, but myself. I am a professional woman who has worked very hard to be where I am. A prenup will protect my investments from BEFORE I met my husband. A prenup will not totally keep either one of us from sharing anything that was accumulated during the marriage. I think that's only fair. It does, however depend on the state you're in and the circumstances of the agreement and divorce.
But it's a good idea. good even if you're not a millionaire. Good if you're a woman. Good if this is your first or fourth marriage.
I wouldn't be offended if someone brought it up. I plan to bring it up.
Maybe I feel this way because I'm in law and have worked in a divorce atty's office before. Maybe I feel this way because I'm practical and I dont' harbor any fairytale expectations about marriage.
i want to be married once and right and forever. So no problem getting a prenup if I don't plan on having to execute it, right?
@Teacia: The market rate for being a nanny/maid ain't that much. Are you advocating a pay raise for all nannies and maids? Also, women have a choice. Juanita didn't have to "give up her career". That argument is BS.
@HNIC: I am shocked and appalled…wait…you are a simp. How soon I forget! Keep your money in your pocket man. There may be some honor in chivalry but there is no honor in poverty.
fuck chilvary, its a made up term for women to get over.
Me being a geek am in love with REAL chilvary… but since I dont have a coat of arms and a suit of armor to ride around on hoseback…. theres no such thing as chilvary.
What im talkin about my man is reality. You can call me a simp… and I can call you shook.
Grown ass, black man afraid of getting his heart broken… oh bo frikkin hoo. your cant get anywhere constantly being afraid of whats going to happen next. Im not talkin about throw yo money on random hoe #7.. infact, we need to pay LESS money out to women we date and no money to women we are just "friends" with. but you have to be seriously open and giving and unafraid if you want to make a marriage work.
sheesh I cant belive a grown man is such a coward… I can understand the black women… its in their nature to be timid… but a dude? Anti brotha…. your not bill gates. your measly 80k salary and 250k condo and 49k car is nothing is NOTHING to write home about and nothing so important you have to draw up contracts about. focus on being happy alone or happy together… not someplace in between.
Anti you gonna let Hasani break you down like dat….***grabs cyber popcorn***
"Are you advocating a pay raise for all nannies and maids? Also, women have a choice. Juanita didn’t have to “give up her career”. "
Are we talking about live-in nannies and those who have to shoulder the burden of raising a kid if ole boy decides to bounce…nannies/maids who provide a service to the well to do are FULLY compensated, most even get a spare room in the mansion or a wing to call their own.
And until you date someone like a Jordan, you can't fully understand what's expected of women in those situations. They really do have to be able to drop all else to be at his beck and call. I've been a part of it once(and happily decline any future offers) and have seen it a thousand times. Being a spouse, partner or even girlfriend to someone who is influential or have loads of cash isn't as easy as it seems…it takes a toll on you emotionally and mentally, and financial compensation isn't enough to regain your sanity at times.
Daaaaamn Sani, ur in full attack mode today…lol.
@HNIC: My salary, car, condo & motorcycle are something to write home about. And I hate to say it, but you are a simp. Fear in men is real, this whole hearted "jump of a bridge for love" is some BS you concocted.
In general, Hasani, I just can't get with 90% of your "preaching". I, and many of my black male friends, do fear commitment. Overall, black women are looking for relationships before me. I don't know where you get this idea that every black man is trying to have a wife and household and women are the ones sucking & f*cking everything … because its not the case. Call me a spook, called me scared, call out my fear of commitment, but I'm in no rush to start a family or bun anyone up unless she is the true PROTOTYPE.
First of all I don't think you can bring in the top 1% of national earners in this country. Most of us will probably not marry nor become a 100 million dollar a year enterprise. And no one here is an athlete.
Juanita is a good example with a higher number. I say god bless her if she made a good defense. I'm sure some of those franchise agreements, licensing deals, and let us not forget the "family" image that she "helped him to play" that garnered addtional deals. That packed the seats in all those arenas. She helped maintain his family image…when he was being "tricky" over there at the Ritz Carlton on M street.
She didn't just get paid for being married to an athlete SHE ALSO GOT PAID FOR THE SHAME. Michael Jordan was not always discrete.
So let's take out our calculator and compute the market rate for embarrassment. I'm adding zeros as I go for the TV, gossip mags, and pictures.
@Hasani: I really really hate to say it … but if your salary was double what it is now (which would get you close to me) … your outlook on love, life & dating would be a lot different.
mouth open*** SBM I AM SHOCKED…where is all this aggression coming from. I didn't think you had it in you!!! Its just a blog.
Just a topic
Its all in fun…wait let me get my popcorn. Give me 5 mins.
so ur in the mid 70's low 80's SBM…one time for the self-plug…lol, priceless! let me see what's going on at vsb…i've been totally neglecting them lately.
@Teacia: Good post about women's obsession with poles and the unfair bum rap given to most strippers.
And please don't do the math for people. If they wanna know they can ask or do the research and multiplication themselves. I'm young … I don't make no real money …
Yeah I just checked it out…I have nothing against stripper and not much interesting to say about it…the Silver Fox is the after club hangout spot here in Jax. We go where the fellas are…and on the real I've learned a few good moves at Shangrala in Tampa…there's this thing you can do to make it vibrate…well nevermind, that isn't ur blog topic…lol.
And how much is it exactly that you bring in young buck?
If my name and exact age are jealously guarded secrets, what make you think I'm about to tell everyone what I'm working with?
I gave you a hint, let's leave it at that.
Hasani is a UNIX admin who is "not qualified to do his job" his range is (45k-60k) entry level unix admins are somwhere around 55k…I'm not sure if we should do any major subtraction with not being qualified. 55k would put SBM over 100k. SBM are you including TOTAL compensation??? health, sick pay, OT or straight salary?
Hasani said that he got a 100% raise from when he was working on the loading docks making $16K, which would put him at $32…SBM says that you can double it and almost reach his…so I'm thinking $73ishK…and maybe a promotion or two away from the low 100Ks…but not quite there yet…but in his mid 20's that's not a bad look either way….way to go buddy. *hi-five*
And I thought Hasani worked for Johnson and Johnson in the IT dept…did you guys ever figure out what you were going to do about the generic version of "Kolaid" hitting the market and undercutting your price and profits?
"Hasani said that he got a 100% raise from when he was working on the loading docks making $16K"
not according to my research on the space…
Anyway if theres a unix admin at 32 K. I'd like to start a labor revolution. Cause in NY/NJ you're on food stamps or living in Trenton.
or Bayonne..
Prenup is the way to go… God forbid that you have a divorce…but if you do.. all your business is already planned out. Why not take away all the disputes out of a divorce. If you have one… there's nothing little to argue about in court. It will make your life much easier to move foward.
why oh why Comeback did you lead me back to the space…yeah his pages states something different…lol…but I can't get past the pimp hat and the fact that he comments on his own page…lmao.
ok no more jonesing on Sani…45-65K is a decent living…I don't know why he claims poverty like he does…then again I am in the South where the cost of living is dirt cheap compared to the North.
AMEN. I fully support this post. First of all women need to approach marriage like a business. Two people don’t go into a business together without a contract. Love and lust is nice but at the end of the day marriage is like running a company. Certain things are required to make sure that company stays profitable. I will definitely sign a prenuptial agreement because I have assets and property and I'll be damned if I have to give that away in the event that I have to divorce my husband. Now if my husband comes into the relationship with more money then me, I will not be offended if he asks for a prenuptial agreement. In fact I would be a little concerned if I was dating a wealthy man and his advisors did not mention him signing a prenup.
Even if both people do not have a lot of assets to their name, it is still a good idea to get a prenup anyway. What if you are in law, medical, or business school when you get married? Did you know that if you get a divorce, your spouse can claim that they contribute to your success and can demand any earnings you get as a result of that degree? Scary isn't it? Look at Paul McCarty: he was married to a broad for less than three years and had to break her off 50 fucking million dollars because he did not sign a prenup. That woman didn’t deserve that type of settlement but since he was dumb enough to not have a prenup, the courts felt that she as entitled to that money.
I will also have a clause about cheating. I have such a low tolerance for that shit. Sometimes I go back and forth about whether or not I will end my marriage over a one time piece of booty. I feel that if my husband ever cheats on me eventually it will be over because I might not get over the betrayal. Nevertheless I feel that if a spouse cheats he/she shouldn’t get shit. Infidelity is one of the actions in marriage that can be prevented.
I think we're leaving something sig. out. Everybody's like yeah sign here on the dotted line. No you sign here on MY dotted line.
People THIS IS A CONTRACT. Contracts are negotiated. I will sign, but if I feel nickeled and dime'd then what??? We're battling it out like its a straight microsoft FTC violation…I think if you do it right and fair …it could get messy.
"ok no more jonesing on Sani"
What are you saying..is this a freudian slip. Are you Joanin'???? or Joansin???
Comeback Girl, I completely understand where you are coming from which is why I think before people get married they should have an honest discussion about money because that is the #1 reason why people get divorced. In fact everyone shoudl go to marriage counseling because you'll be surprised how much comes out during those sessions. Before I get married (I gotta find the hubby first hehehe) I want to know his mindset about sex, money, raising children, in-laws etc.
^^ I agree. This totally takes the romance (insert finance) out of love. I'm depressed.
On some level I understand why people "hide" assets too. And this is why the chick's chick in me wants to tell women to have something to bring to the table or at least put some things aside for a rainy day (if you're a stay at home mom) IN YOUR OWN PERSONAL SAVINGS/CHECKING or off shore account.
OMG so true! My mom said regardless of how much in love you are, have a secret bank account that no one knows about. You never know what may happen. When I was living in Geneva Switzerland back in 05, I opened an account out there that I now put 300 bucks into every month which has become my "just in case shit happens" account.
BTW most aspects of marriage is not romantic. I think Western Culture has warped people's perception of marriage. You aren't going to feel in lust or desire your partner 24-7. In fact you will have to deal with the daily issues of LIFE such as bills, children, IN-LAWS, health, etc…Marriage isn't glamourous.
@Comeback: Can we stop with this Chick's chick & Dick's chick nonesense. You should aim to be both and I don't see why anyone couldn't find balance between the two, whethere they be man or woman.
"Marriage isn’t glamourous."
Girl its like you just poured water in my espresso with steamed breve. Why oh why!!! sike I understand its not. This is why couple counseling is so important.
"Can we stop with this Chick’s chick & Dick’s chick nonesense. You should aim to be both and I don’t see why anyone couldn’t find balance between the two, whethere they be man or woman."
Do you feel "out of the circle" when I say chick's chick. Are you the kind of man that likes to be included when its "just the girls" talking. Look, I'm a chick's chick from the "rooter to the tooter" (work cited Mystery) and to the day they close my coffin. Dick's Chicks are worse than a jimmy choo knock off on canal street (during an FBI raid on the 6 oclock world news)… by simple definition Dick's chicks are not good. They take other people's men (maybe even there mama's if he look hard enough), they have no honor. So why exactly should I be a dick's chick..
if you make up your own definition and if I agree I'll co-sign. But give me my coined phrases and terms. thank you.
@Comeback: No, I don't feel left out, it just comes off to me as that spinster talk which could lead someone to be single for another 31 years.
Just like u have simps and your overly "I ain't doin sh*t for a b*tch" individuals, in the end the middle ground ends up winning.
My aren't we participating a lot today my dear SBM…it's almost as if this is your blog…lol.
…man and Tiger is slipping on his pimpin in the playoffs today…come on Tiger you can do it…besides the dude your playing against is ranked 158th in the world and you're ranked #1…how's that going to look if you lose…ok enough rambling about the U.S Open…off to take my final…later guys.
" I don’t feel left out, it just comes off to me as that spinster talk which could lead someone to be single for another 31 years."
you know what…if susan b anthony was living she beat your butt right here with a switch. Being a spinster doesn't taunt me. Last time I checked most people on this blog where closer to 30 than they were 20 (if not that) even those that conceal their age. I have just as many options as a man would…and I could go to the caucasian side…so im good with my marital status.
Hello folks…
It is interesting that this is the post for the day. I was having this exact conversation with a guy friend of mine last nite. I said that if my man wanted me to sign a prenup I wouldn't have a problem signing one. Now would I require him to sign one…probably not. Simplying because when I down for you, I am in it totally and completely. Now I would only sign a prenup for monetary reasons and I like the clause about cheating. I know it sounds like I am contradicting myself but I am not.
I don't think its saying you are getting a divorce I think its just protecting yourself from what you had before you met this person. Now one would argue the point that once you become married then everything should be shared. Well yes and no. Alot goes into play when discussing marriage or assets gained before marriage.
When I do get married I don't think the man who wants to marry me would want a prenup simply because of the type of woman I am. But if for some reason he does then sure I will sign on the dotted line. You know now that I think about it, if and when I get married if my bank account is sitting in the millions then I would have him sign a prenup. What we gain together is ours but what I worked hard for before him well I share as I feel fit. But this idea is definitely subject to change.
good points Ms. Dev.
Seriously Tho I just got my lalah cd in the mail today and I have been distracted like 50 times already!!! imma have to hide in the closet turn off the cell phone, computer, and close the door to listen….
*off topic*
take some tissues in there girl…and read the lyrics..just the best writing and singing EVER..
BMS: my income wouldnt change my outlook on love youngman
age will change yours.
Im a "simp" but Im obviously not an idiot…. or do you think I just fell out of bed one day and SPLAT was implanted with a lifetime of memories and morals?
I dont say take your search of loving to lunacy…. I need you men not to act like the women and take anything said you may not agree with and twist the words to extremes… men arent supposed to eb timid and fearful like that we are hunters and gathers after all right?
Never cross your mate, its the only way you can get ahead is to trust eachother. IM not sayin let random hoe #7 walk all over yo ass. guard yourself against RH7 because she is looking in this modern era to exploit your ass…. as you can see by the reactions and words of most of the women on the blog. But damnit men, your partner is your partner.
you fear commitment? then dont commit. relationships are not for everyone. and NO your salary isnt anything to write home about. Juanita and Mike are elite… your still middle class. I make 31k and now have no assets, you make 150k and have a condo …. we are both still middle class son. thats chump change compared to the elite in our society.
as for me making more money and that changing my outlook on life and love?
Only thing that will change my outlook is me. I have a buddy that recently we, as in me and all of our friends, walked in on his fience with another man. My boy has owned a "HOUSE"…. not an appartment not a condo… in jersey since 1999. He earns over 200k per year and between him and his fience are holding over 1500 shares of stock in ERTS and have been for the past 8 years. So this man has more money and less payments than anyone I know. What did we do friday? We had a party and spent the entire night chatting up the ladies. It will take him some time to heal but like me he is no coward and knows he wants a mate.
IF EA's new game hits its projections and EA signs on with PS'3 the stock could peak as high as 80 he says. between that and VMware he could retire in 5 years. lucky bastard has already paid off his mortgae.
Money would make me more aloof with the women I meet and woud deffinatly make me more of a snob. If I only date MD's and PHD's now…. wtf am I gonna date with a salary over 80k? but I highly dobut my morals will change son. Im a man, just like my father and god father before me. not perfect but a man none the less.
to each his own. if you boys are afraid to commit then join the many sistas who are too afraid to commit. Marriage is a goal and a privilege but not for everyone, especially those who cant respect the institution. but seriously… you didnt get where you are today by half assing it… why would you do the same with the most important decision of your life?
Divorce is indeed a reality.
I don't think many people enter into marriage plotting on some dough. (Though some do. RIP Anna Nicole)
But yo… Say I singlehandedly build my little business into a big business and while I'm across the country at the West Coast office, My Little Honeybun decides to get it in with the neighbor across the street cause I'm never home…
I'd prolly try to resolve it and fix whatever is wrong, cause that's just who I am.
But if that doesn't work… I'd like to retain most of what I built up.
Throw children, her having a hand in my success, and property into the mix and it all gets messier, yo.
A prenup cuts down on a lot of BS.
Well I would like to say that it's been a beautiful day on SBM.net…we didn't scare away other commenters with our bickering and we didn't even need a peace day flag to be waved..way to go everyone…pats on the back for all who participated.
…I wonder who was missing today…maybe THAT lack of negativity kept down the confusion…just a thought.
Well off I go…later guys! **again pats on the back for everyone**
Hasani do you really know unix???
im stuck..i need to know the command to find a process I am running and then I need to kill it.
???
damsel in distress please help.
Teacia …I think everyone has had their moment in the sun. Lets keep it real you were extremely negative on your first day and caused more confusion than I've seen in my nearly 7 month tenure..so lets not get too brand new.
have a good day.
comeback im still working on it girl, might not be til tomorrow when i get to it
*mad*
@ Hasani …see how you do ??? Im in distress over here and you leave me totally hanging.
@ Mikki…press play.
Yeah Comeback that was ONE day and it was aimed at SBM…a dude…the moderator, challenging a man's intellect is what I do…and last I checked SBM kind of enjoyed it…and I also explained it at the end of the day citing boredom and fun, and apologized for getting those heated who felt the need to come to his rescue…it was all in love.
Yes, I agree, it's been a wonderful day on the blog, as is EVERYDAY to me because it's just a blog on a computer & people posting & voicing their opinions (if at ANY point someone feels like killin' themselves or name calling because of an opinion, then there's a SERIOUS PROBLEM)…that's the point of a blog!!!
So, cheers to my fellow bloggers today & always (EVEN IF I DON"T SHARE YOUR OPINIONS, I REFUSE TO BE LESS THAN A LADY..that's my pledge to you all)!!!!!!!! 🙂
And I too, "wonder who was missing"?!!! EVERYONE that I've seen post before…was here again today!!!!
Teacia, I was really happy until you went there, why did you feel the need to bring up the fact nobody was causing drama we went a whole day without nobody being rude and you HAD to point out that nobody was trippin today
sounds like you wanted to create drama, personally everybody thats been here for the last few days have been here today as well as NEGATIVE as we are we managed to not cause issues so whats say you hun……….(worksite comeback)
*Going back to my cd listening party*
I think I found the weakest link
*rolling my eyes*…just making an observation hater.
Teacia, you are wrong. And you know you are. And Im going to tell you why. When you came past these here parts your aim was to "set it off" like a Queen Latifah movie.
"challenging a man’s intellect is what I do"
This is after you break him down and them you agree with him…is that the same plan you had over at Eathan's site??? I peeped that you dropped the same bomb. But he averted the distruction a little better wouldn't you say?
All I'm saying is I believe someone else said that this is NOT HOW you win and influence friends. Actually before you came, we NEVER had this kind of drama EVER. We would all disagree and then go to our seperate blogs, but I'm going to be honest. I was a little caught off guard cause you know little communites are usually protected by their leaders. People come in and peep the culture and then they "obey the social rules and mores".
I'm not trying to Eliza Dolittle you…this is not my fair lady…but sometimes it helps to just put a lid on it. Remember what you type. You can't brag one day about having a robotic coochie…without somebody suggesting that you might be …a…little liberal with the undies.
Comeback you holding out on us??
what bomb?? what site???who is eathan???
lost………
now lets squash it… cue Madeleine Albright's representative. I'm sure there will be followup.
I'll let Teacia explain.
*folding arms tappin foot*
AMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 400000000000000000 % @ comeback, that's ALL I'ma say!!!!!!!!! Other than the fact, EVERYONE ON THE BLOG CAN"T POSSIBILY BE "YOUNG & STUPID"…hum…makes me think…there's ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE variable to ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the MADNESSSSSSSSSSSSS!
ADDITIONALLY, IF YOu WANT TO BAN ME FOR BEIN' REAL & SPEAKIN" MY MIND (ALWAYS RESPECTFULLY MIGHT I ADD UNLESS SOMEONE HAS REPEATELY TRIED TO TEAR ME DOWN), SO BE IT!!!!
Teacia is definitely a fight starter. If there is half an argument in existence, she'll curse someone out until its fully out.
Comeback loves to sprinkler her insults with her comments and take quotes out of context. Along with taking discussions WAY off topic.
Mikki loves to co-sign with Comeback & Mystery … often furthering existing fight.
Mystery LIKES TO USE CAPS and TTTTTOOOOOOO MMMAAANNNNNYYYYYY LLLEETTTTTEEERRRRRSSSS. Also a constant insult sniper ala Comeback.
Hasani likes to disagree and talk on and on and on and on and … wait … what was my point?
Me … I just talk sh*t a lot to certain people.
As far as your all concerned your all crazy … but I love you all the same. I can't blame anyone person more than the other for the constant "bickering". I just thank the Lord above for peacekeepers like Ms. D & Sheila.
Too bad the fighting has run, GeeGee, YBL, Neonnea, Akua, Anti (to an extent) and a gang of other from the site.
Maybe we should all just take it easy and not get involved in all these petty arguments (I am guilty too) and chill. Please … for me (why do you think my immune system is shot and I keep getting sick!)
I read the comments but what are ya'll talking about now. What did Teacia do? Eathan has a blog called Ionlydatewhite or something like that.
But what is going on now with you folks.
SBM ***as I sit here monitoring MY network via a unix interface THAT SOMEBODY COULDNT "HELP" ME WITH***
I blame you as well. Now you wanna bring your big penis in a place it on a table. We all have our quirks from the instagators to the short bus passengers (who change from time to time). Sometimes I believe people can spoil a situation and BAD. Your job is to steer the ship.
A little controversy is good. Hell didn't prince write a song about it. Sometimes it can capsize a ship.
AMEN SBM!! I get so sick of the bullshit fights I feel like I am back in high school. But I totally agree with you. You hit the head on the nail with all these folks.
lol SBM thanks for trying to lighten things up cuz you know it was about to go down……
you are too silly!!!!
lov ya!!
nope Ms Dev can't find it
*still tappin foot*
Ms. Dev
I think you are just as much apart of the problem as everybody else. You can't be Switzerland and Russia.
All I'm doing is pointing it out. And I suggested it squashed. Now you want recaps and details?
There's nothing to explain…there was a behind the scenes conversation with Eathan that took place offline which inspired his blog as well as mine, and since I was the chic in his passage that he was talking about I felt it necessary to defend my view…oh you thought my opinion was unsolicited…yeah you would. My words actually have value, it incites conversation and forces people to think and not just speak. He aske for permission to write about our conversation and I told him to respect my input, he of course was all for it and said "it's actually a good thing, your inciting dialogue." And Eathan would have kept it going if I felt up to it but instead I declined. I squashed it that day, as he did on my blog as well and we have since been cool emailing buddies…try minding yours please.
As far as my first day on SBM, I read a few of the previous post and got a feel for the moderator…me calling a strongly opinionated man like SBM a whining little bitch got exactly the response I was soliciting…he was intrigued and wanted to know more about me. And if I recall correctly this is what he said, "@Teacia: Man … you bout to have me falling for you. Thats a problem since I already promised my heart to someone else on here … but … I think she’ll understand." I started a heated debate b/c I called him out on his whining, moderator or not. SBM and I have also become buddies offline.
Now explain to me how my statement not referring to anyone in particular just pointing out the unity of the day could lead to all of this.
Oh and the coochie is far from robotic…don't ever think I said it was either. And explain how admitting to sleeping with 9 men in my lifetime makes my shit liberal…just wondering…considering 7 of them proposed.
Oh no Ms. Comeback you indeed stirred it up…you can't now request it to be squashed. And Ms. D isn't doing shit other than trying to catch up the madness that you seem to have such a hold on.
Point at your damn self. What are you talking about Comeback? You can’t be Switzerland and Russia.
How do you feel like I am part of your problem? I don't bicker with you all EVER. I state my case and I move on. I am rarely on here all day going back and forth about bullshit that has nothing to do with the post. I think you need to rethink you last statement or at least back it up with some facts. I mainly just try to encourage you all to get REAL about alot of shit that you all say. So please miss me with that mess….
I'll wait for your facts…
Back to my kind self again. And yes I want recaps and details. I'll wait while you get that for me.
I like SBM blog and I am staying until he shuts it down…
Teacia, you are messy. You've already admitted it. Its in other comments. Its come out of your mouth. The back and forth with SBM is cute and funny. But its run off half the faithful readership.
But apparently its all ok with SBM so ultimately is cool. But I'm telling you woman to woman I've peeped the stello. I see how you interact with others, I see even what you write about yourself regarding this all.
And I'd just thought I'd point it out. But maybe maybe I should check where Gee Gee and Neonnea are hangin at and join them.
Ms. D: There actually was no bickering today other than the Comeback and Hasani show, but nothing new to see…I simply pointed it out while implying that someone was missing in action…when in fact everyone was here…but since certain folk felt guilty or said friends felt the need to defend them it got ugly…and for what, to prove me wrong and attempt to paint me as scandalous and in very pleasant terms a whore…lol. But that chics feeds on controversy and couldn't leave well enough alone…hence all of her problems.
@ Comeback… I am still waiting *tick tock tick tock*
"Back to my kind self again. And yes I want recaps and details. I’ll wait while you get that for me."
Ok…never mind… re: Russia nd Switzerland …but you can't say you're tired of something and want a stop to it and then ask for details.
The reason I proposed "leave my ass alone day" last Friday because I'd like to see some healthy above the board debating too. But I also realized you can't have it both ways. You can't want peace and then help incite its opposite by asking for recaps which are usually ALWAYS colorful and less motivated to cease the crap.
Why the hell do you all come on here and comment on shit that has nothing to do with the post. That is not what this blog is for. COMMENT ON THE POST. Not your personal lives. That is problem.
All this we are talking about has nothing do with the post!!! Don't you think that doesnt make any sense?
They're at VSB…by all means…and that was one day of fussing with SBM that lasted for ummmmm 5 hours…I would hate to think that 5 hours of fussing with SBM, who was indeed holding his own, would run off the faithful readership.
You honestly don't think it had anything to do with you and Hasani or me and Hasani or you and I…or shit, that at least you play some role in all of this…come on DO BETTER!
Like I said my shit is real, it stinks. I'm sorry but I don't shit rose petals. I do recall bouncing off this bitch last week only to be met with the "please don't go" nonsense. I guess that was just more of Comeback and her facetious bullshit…ok go it, nuff said.
Ms. Dev you don't like to read do you??? 🙂 what happened to that kind self…did Switzerland merge with Russia LOL
before i comment go back and read from say 9pm. And go back to being Switzerland.
@ Comeback:but you can’t say you’re tired of something and want a stop to it and then ask for details.
How can you tell me what I can and cannot do? Who rules are those? I ask for recaps because I don't have time to read over most of the bullshit you all are talking that has nothing to do with the post.
COMEBACK, IT"S NOTTTTTTTTTTTT YOUUUUUUUUUUU (I"VE PEEPED OUT THE INCONSISTANCES TOO, ALONG WITH OTHERS)!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BELIEVE THAT…A CERTAIN PERSON IN MINDDDDDDDDD ISSSSSSSSS STILLLLLLLLLLLL TRYIN" TO KEEP UP MESS!!!!!!!!!! I"M TAKE THE HIGH ROAD THOUGH!!!
“please don’t go” nonsense"
Girl I just wanted to see if real decorum was really such a turn off to you.
Like I said..squash it. But I just wanted you to peep that I peep it and I think its wrong.
@ Comeback: I am going to have to disenage in this conversation with you cause you just aren't making any sense. Yes I love to read, just not bullshit opinions from emotional people who just don't get it. I like to get recaps. Save my time. I love reading SBM post and comments that have to do with the post.
"I”M TAKE THE HIGH ROAD THOUGH!!!"
me too and I have a script that I need to run and a network to monitor…UNIX boy!!! HOLLA at cha girl.
Moving on SBM ready for new post…
Thank you Ms. D.
@Comeback: Your bickering with Hasani was possibly the most detrimental to people actually commenting here … so I really don't wanna hear nothing about that from you. I have gotten more emails, calls, text messages about your bitterness than anyone else (Teacia is second). You even went as far as to attack Ms. D 2 minutes ago … who I reiterate is a Godsend.
Comeback … you invented the hijacking of a post into some off topic bull.
@Teacia: You very much love to cause drama (I think it gets you a little turned on) so don't deny that. I will say you have been attacked moreso than others, but you spit fire like a dragon. And you really don't let things go. As I said, in terms of drama starting and complaints … a solid 2nd place silver goes to you.
@Comeback(again): I could go around moderating comments if thats what makes you happy. Blocking all the nonsense and bullsh*t that comes through, but your the first to cry about it. What do you want?!?!? Your the ONLY individual to call me a comment Nazi anytime I have every tried anything.
@Everyone: Chill the f*ck out!
Difference between a FAKE WOMAN & A REAL STONE COLD WOMAN, is that the ladder puts it out there, REAL..there's NO beatin' around the bush..the FAKE WOMAN…IMPLIES & CONTRADICTS!!!
@Comeback: Send that n*gga a f_cking email!
And FYI, do "ps -ae | grub *process name*" to see if its running. Then "killall *process name*" to kill it.
Prenups anyone?
@Mystery Girl: Why you still trying to start sh_t?
Ms. D: this is what was said:
Well I would like to say that it’s been a beautiful day on SBM.net…we didn’t scare away other commenters with our bickering and we didn’t even need a peace day flag to be waved..way to go everyone…pats on the back for all who participated.
…I wonder who was missing today…maybe THAT lack of negativity kept down the confusion…just a thought.
Well off I go…later guys! **again pats on the back for everyone**
********************
the ladies on the blog decided to pounce…typical…and attack me for saying that we had a good day. apparently
i didn't have to point out how mature we were w/o the peace flag..lol…again typical.
and apparently how i interact with a bunch of strangers on the net is a reflection of how i deal with people in the REAL world. when in fact you're all JUST strangers…we've never met and probably NEVER will. and last i checked, i wasn't the reason you guys cancelled the meet and greet in chicago…i know blaming me is convenient b/c my views are less than conventional but whatever…it's your right…continue on. And who gives a damn what you think…your shit doesn't make my world spin…just thought you should know.
@SBM: your welcome..
LMAOOOOOOOOOO..WOW…WONDERING WHO"S ACTUALLY VOTED ON "SHIT STARTER OF THE MONTH"!!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOo…cause I don't know if everyone has gotten a vote (I MOST CERTAINLY HAVEN"T)!!!!!!!
AM I REALLY SBM??!!!!! WHERE WERE YOU YESTERDAY WHEN THE SHI* KEPT GETTIN' STARTED (AND NOT BY ME)?!
"And FYI, do “ps -ae | grub ” to see if its running. Then “killall ” to kill it."
thanks for coming to my "–help" but you're alittle "date" LATE
now go mkdir (with some short buses)
bye
Thats it … I'm banning all women. Too much estrogen … men don't bicker. Someone gets hit … everyone is cool the next day.
@Teacia: Next time you recap … lets make it unbiased. You just starting more sh_t.
@ Teacia:I wonder who was missing today…maybe THAT lack of negativity kept down the confusion…just a thought. I think this statement may have sounded like you implied that whoever was missing was the reason the negativity was kept down today. That maybe what these folks got from it.
As far as Chicago goes I still live here and whoever wants to come will be greeted by me. I have no problem meeting anyone of you all and having a good time in the CHI!
SERIOUSLY, I SWEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…if I get the VOTE OUT..I"M GONE…NO B.S…..COMEBACK..WHAT"S YOUR VOTE??? AM I REALLYYYYYYY A SHi* STARTER & DO I GET THE #1 for it, NO JOKE (NO HARD FEELINGS)?!!!!!!!
SBM yes I am a little turned on by controversy, but only when dealing with men…as you well know I hate chic fights b/c they're emotionally draining. However I like to get the fellas a little riled up before soothing them with my loving demeanor…shit it works…sue me. And yes I spit fire and that's b/c EVERYTIME I attempt to say something nice to anyone I am met with opposition. I can't win for losing on this damn blog…if I'm honest I'm called out and blatantly called a whore who needs to visit my local GYN…as if sex and protection are mutually exclusive or something. And I overlook a lot of shit implied and said.
Whatever, like I said you ladies can continue to attack me…my views aren't changing…I am who I am…and if to you that means that I'm a messy lying ass whore who needs a check-up then so be it..afterall this is just a blog.
@Mystery: I meant just now. I think I already addressed everyone's "weak" points (myself included).
Teacia starts some sh_t. People get emotional and call her a whore. She comes back with fire. More bickering goes on, I close the browser window and get back to work.
MIkki…what's your vote? HNIC….I'd like to hear from you as well
I will say … the one reason I may defend Teacia a lil more than others is cause some people (you know who you are) are just brutal. Some of the sh_t that was said yesterday was horrible. I mean … I heard a lot of whore accusations … and that is just … damn.
Also, offline … I know Comeback is a … uh … unstable creature … so I find it hard to side with her anymore.
Ms. D: NO ONE was missing…everyone chimed in, including a few new folks or maybe old folks…but they felt guilty about something that didn't even exist. It was a freaking joke…a "maybe it was the one armed man" kind of joke but nope let's jump on Teacia…we can gang up on her and make it stick.
Ms. D…am I MORE over the top than everyone else on this blog???!!!
@Mystery: You definitely fall into the top 3. Especially with all them damn caps and like I said … some of your attacks are "fight in the street" mean. Even being called a "whining bitch" paled into some of the stuff you said yesterday.
@Everyone: Reference the movie "Baby Boy" if you don't know what "unstable creature" means.
@ Mystery gal: Yes you are quite out of hand. Why so much energy and extra drama when you talk?
@ Teacia: I guess the choice of words were wrong.
I respect everyone opinions and expect the same. As long as no one EVER tries to jump on my back again we will be cool.
@SBM: I know exactly what an 'unstable creature' is and I avoid them. I have zero tolerance for it.
Mystery my vote is that you stay. I honestly don't think you're over the top. But hey I'm unstable. I guess it was the offline "respect" comment.
Yeah I do have a problem with men I see in one light and then they show me something else. Primarily because they can't steer and navigate the ship OBJECTIVELY. This has been a qagmire since…well..whatever. But it is what it is now.
I'm DONE WITH THE SHI*…SERIOUSLY…IF I GET THE VOTEEEEEE…I WILL GLADLY LEAVE!!!!!!
P.S. As a school teacher, I know this best…AN INSULT IS AN INSULT. HOW ON GOD'S EARTH IS IT OKAY TO CALL SOMEONE YOUNG & DUMB but when SOMEONE FIRES BACK WITH "WHORE" STATEMENTS THAT THEY"VEEEEEEEEEE ADMITTED TOO, they are WRONG???!!! DOESN"T MAKE SENSE!!!!!!! When someone starts the name calling, ALL that is said next is fair game!!!!! THIS IS FOR SBM TO ADDRESS…not really interested in other opinion now..ty for the cooperation in this matter
Who is voting? Everyone stays.
Mystery ITS NOT. None of its ok. We have all crossed the line. But people see ultimately what they want to see. Teacia was right about one thing. Its JUST a blog. Nothing more nothing less.
1 vote to leave….1 to stay…1 to 1…MIKKI? SBM…your vote??!
Ummmm who admitted to being a whore…I've been steadily dating 2 guys for the last 5 months, haven't made a choice yet and THAT makes me a whore…or is it the 7 fiances who proceeded them that makes me a whore. I'm still wondering, or is it that I will cook and clean for a man who's giving me everything I need…does that make me a whore. Damn, well in that case at some point we've ALL been whores…cause I'm sure you've had a nigga or two overlap. (i.e. ex-fiance and dude from the email)
"THIS IS FOR SBM TO ADDRESS"
we'll be waiting a long time for anything objective.
Right comeback, I"ve said that LONG ago (at just a blog)! ANd right @ EVERYONEEEEEEEE bein' outta line @ 1 point or another!!!!!! VERYYYYYYY TRUEEEEEEEE ALSO that people wanna see what they wanna see (and defend who they wanna defend)!!!!!!
lol…so Comeback he hasn't been objective since I've been on the scene…u think he's smitten with me now and can't see clearly…come on, cut it out already.
I DON"T OVER-LAP, SORRY (BUT IT"S FINE IF YOU DO)!!!!!!! THe e-mail dude & my ex WEREN"T over-lapping…re-read, re-group, and then re-write!
Seriously though Mystery, I have never attacked anyone on here…not even Hasani they way you went at it yesterday. And all b/c I admitted to having fear of committment issues…you even went as far to highlight my MOTHER'S decision in your theory…and please believe young and dumb was nothing in comparison to what you would have said to me if I incited your mother's name…miss lady I did you a favor yesterday and honestly I could care less whether you stay or go…but i'm sure you know my preference.
"lol…so Comeback he hasn’t been objective since I’ve been on the scene…u think he’s smitten with me now and can’t see clearly…come on, cut it out already"
I just fell out of my chair…Girl..NO..its just he NEVER takes my side FOR ANYTHING before you ever came around..and Mystery is coming out the same way.
has nothing to do with you at all.
that caps shit is so annoying and isn't appropriate blog etiquette, if you have something to say then just say it…yes mam, you are indeed a little over the TOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTW- WHO"S THE SHI* STARTER SBM..WHEN I CLEARLY STATED THAT THE QUESTION @ insults was for YOU??!
"I have never attacked anyone on here…not even Hasani they way you went at it yesterday"
chile you ARE delusional…I'm starting to not believe all them engagements you talk of.
I must correct you all I have never crossed the line…sorry I had to say it.
Comeback seriously though…you guys are mean…and Mystery is no exception. You see how you jumped on my comment and turned it into this mess…it wasn't that serious…and it wasn't even directed to anyone.
Well my opinion is bias since you are my best friend sooooooooooooooooooooooo My vote is for you to stay
mystery
good luck girlfriend I will be in the crowd rooting for you (meanwhile praying my butt aint on the list too!!)
PS….
OOOOOOOOOOOH HELLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOO i DON'T OVERLAP ISH!!!! I never will neva have had 2 dudes at the SAME TIME NOT FOR FUGGIN SUGGIN OR SRUBBIN!!!!!
"Comeback seriously though…you guys are mean…and Mystery is no exception. You see how you jumped on my comment and turned it into this mess…"
Because it needs to stop. You have a history of this stupid shyt. YOU EVEN SAID IT. You've called yourself messy. You even said that your MO on blogs is to DROP BOMBS. the shyt needs to stop.
I take personally resp. for my shit too. But it needs to come full circle. You ARE FAR from innocent. None of us are.
Comeback BY GOD I THINK YOU GOT IT…you don't have to believe a damn thing I ay…and why do you ask…because it's my life…you don't have to live it. I make my statements as they pertain to the blog…because the usually pertain to the blog and a little life experience only drives the point home.
As far as you're concerned I could have never had a boyfriend, my myspace page could be my sister's…I could actually be a swinger…men could be repulsed by me…I could be ugly and dumb(ok, so that's a stretch)…I could be faking my way through an intelligent conversation…and the best part of it all is that the shit shouldn't matter to you either way…lol…b/c it's not your life.
TEACIAAAAAAAAAAAa, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe..I"MAAAAAAAAAAA KEEPPPPPPPPPP TYPIN""""""" IN CAPSSSSSS FIRST OF ALL…JUST SO YOU KNOW…2ndly, AN INSULT IS AN INSULT…WHEN U OPEN THAT CAN OF WORMS…THOSE M.F MIGHT NOT EVER GO BACK!!!!!! AN INSULT IS AN INSULT…TRUST ME!!!!!!
no bitch you called me messy…ain't shit messy about me…i'm real…and please don't forget it!
@Mystery: I am pretty sure even as a school teacher you can recognize that being called "Young & Dumb" is really not that harsh of a comment. Hell, I'll join in and call you Young & Dumb too. But to call someone a whore … WTF were you thinking. HELL NO thats not equivalent. Its the same reason with all of the fighting, bickering and bullsh_t me and Comeback do, I can't even must the B* word for her. And thats out of some decency of respect. Calling her a whore like you did was way out of line and you officially lost any support from me with that comment.
Everyone here is and has been out of line, but I am pretty sure I have never heard anyone on hear disrespect another person as gratuitously as you did yesterday.
On that note, if you continue to "virtually" yell in all caps, and walk around using such extreme insults … then I'm gonna have to cast a vote that you go. Especially since you see nothing wrong with fighting "Young & Dumb" with "whore".
I actually remember calling a girl a slut in grade school because she called me something (stupid or fat or something) and the teacher almost killed me saying that my insult was completely out of line.
Take a lesson from my old school teacher and really think about it.
LMAooooooooooooooooooooooooooOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo @ 141…i agree!!!!!!!!!!
mystery and comeback you're both stupid and i'm done entertaining this dumb shit…lol…i can't believe i even dealt with it this long.
sbm enjoy the new dynamics of your blog…i'm out.
uh oh…
You let her get the best of you Teacia…don't do it.
@Comeback: I still to this day don't know what different side I showed you over email. I was my usual joke cracking lighthearted self. I actually approached you directly asking if you wanted to write a post. WTF. What was two sided about that.
Damn well about to post the f_cking email thread and let the world decide … but the readers who don't care about this petty bullsh_t would just be confused and mad I wasted their time.
*SINGING DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD*
BUT TEACIA JUST CALLED COMEBACK A BITCH @ SBM BUT YOU BELOVED HAS ALL YOUR RESPECT IN THE WORLD???!!!!!!!! AND THAT'S OKAYYYYYYYY????????????????!!!!!!!!!!
WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!1
you damn right…this bitch got one more time to call me out my fucking name…both of them do…now i'm done being pleasant and objective and shit. fuck the bullshit
and that's real talk. and now i even have to press enter and shit so my whole fucking comment will be in this damn box…this is all lunacy.
@Mystery Gal: a school teacher? For real? What grade?
So
SBM ….where does "bitch" fall on the sliding scale of all of this??? I'm basically telling home slice that WE ALL ARE ULTIMATELY wrong. The problem is I see some history involved. I see what other people are writing about you in your own house months ago "girl I see you over there starting stuff" PRE SBM.net. what does that say.
oh so yall can call me a whore but i can't call you bitches…get the fuck out of here!…bitch please!!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO @ MIKKI
"BUT TEACIA JUST CALLED COMEBACK A BITCH @ SBM BUT YOU BELOVED HAS ALL YOUR RESPECT IN THE WORLD???!!!!!!!! AND THAT’S OKAYYYYYYYY????????????????!!!!!!!!!!
WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!1"
its a game chile. I think its rather funny. Just running my script instead of a cuing maintance work tunes…I come here.
@ Teacia: Calm down honey! You just said their opinions don't matter. When someone says something ridiculous just disengage them as I did Comeback when she was
talking nonsense to me. They are trying to get your fired up, and mystery gal is off the meters and I don't know why?
no the hell you didn't comeback…you accused me of all of this shit…no one forced you to write your opinion about my comment…NO ONE! and to be honest, as bad
as it got it didn't get as bad as it's gotten since Mystery has been here…think about that one Mikki…if you can attempt to be objective on this one.
I personally agree with comeback OUTSIDE of the usual banter between her and Hasani everybody was cooo. NOBODY was Disrespecting anyone on any crazy level such as now, and I only see one person fit to blame for all this craziness and that is TEACIA and I will personally say it has nothing to do with MYSTERY BECAUSE she even went as far as to come at me all wrong a few post back……………………….
my 2 cents on the matter….
please please go… I like it here and the fam was coo until you got here no lie!
and SBM did you just see her call somebody a BITCH please tell me you put on your sunny shades to see that????
Ms. D: I am sitting at my house, listening to my professor's lecture while chatting with my homegirl who's also reading the blog as we speak…I am sitting in my satin
pajamas(that's for you SBM 😉 ) on my bed, laughing and responding to the dumb shit. My pressure isn't raised and I'm not yelling at the computer. Tomorrow morning
I will get a phone call from someone who misses me and Comeback will still be on my Top Friend's list. I will go to work and help to shape someone's future, then I
will come home, feed my child, read her a bedtime story and put her to bed. All the while I will be blogging on SBM.net about tomorrow topic. I will get hostile if
someone tries me or I will fly low if we manage some semblance of maturity…and at the end of the day the group just may get another *hi-five* for pulling it off.
In other words, I'm chillin…just with a potty mouth.
Teacia Mystery Got here only a few days ago YOU have been here for over a MONTH? come on NOW really!!!!!!!
My girl came to defend ME on some ish you said about me soooooooooooo lets not do that puleezzee don't.
If I did things right, no more comments for now. Can't stand black people sometimes. This is some petty ass kid stuff. Go take this sh_t to comeback sites and finally give her some visitors.
Yes … Teacia dropped that B* bomb first.
Yes … ya'll did call her a whore first (so sorry … just can't be that mad about it).
Yes … Teacia does start sh_t.
And Yes … Comeback & Mystery are some evil ass sumb_tches (the sum makes it ok).
Teacia started it, and you two turned into something way too serious.
Take all your emotional asses to sleep and come back tomorrow as civil fucking adults!
Love you Ms. D!
@SBM…This is some petty ass kid stuff. Go take this sh_t to comeback sites and finally give her some visitors…LMAO!!!
Love you 2 hun! You are so funny!
I didn't read any of the previous comments, so sorry if i am repeating myself. But I am 100% for a pre-nup! I don't care if I'm flat broke and he's well off or vice versa, I want a pre-nup that protects our assets. However, I want the pre-nup to only be affective for the first 20 years of marriage. My parents were married for 26 years of marriage, they began the divorce process 6 years ago..and are still battling it out for property in Belize. I'm not saying that I believe my marriage would end in divorce…but just in case..I want to be able to end things civilly and fair. SBM..you just inspired a new post..lol
LOL..oh the drama didn't scare me off…I come to your page everyday..but there are some things i don't comment on for certain reasons.
I gotta agree with SBM Mis D is like an absolute godsend. women like her make me feel actually trying to change and make other men around me better people, is worth it.
yall seriously need to stop fighting if its not about the topic. i have no problem throwing down and going back and forth about topics relative to the site, i think its healthy in a sadistic sort of way. but come on… do you guys really have to call eachother sluts and pull out the cat claws so this spirals into a "typical bitchy black woman" type of scenerio? everyone wants to claim they dont fit a stereotype and then yell at me when I lump people into statistcs ….but then yall still here fitting into the oldest stereotype of black people out there. i wonder if crap like this is why the marriage rate for a certain minority group is so low?
Comeback: see this is whats wrong with us. you needed a question answered and you have my number. not to hard to call me.
Im not exactly a mean guy last i checked. as for how much I make.. Teacia was right…. so right it scared the crap outta me. how she know I got a 100% raise from when I worked on the loading docks? from 16 to 32. I live just above trenton actually, Princeton…so your close. since you care so much… when you comming up here to visit? I am a non engenieer Unix netbackup admin… next time you delete the mountpoints to your virtual production server give hassi a hollar. I could use the work since I am stressing about getting another job. I only have 3 more months left here and I am going to be another statistic 🙁
@ Miss Dev. Im thinkn I want to run the race on the 4th out there and I seriously wanna do the taste of chicago…. but it would kill my whole diet thang.
SBM: ya man when you get time I will come down there. you young guns can show me your tecnique on bein a brash bad boy and I can show you guys how easy it is to walk up to and start conversation with anyone you find interesting. Anti and me are totally making you pick up the drink tab though :p
@HNIC: if you come let me know.
*sigh…another day, another exhausting read. I didn't want to say on the previous post that calling someone a whore was WAAYY below the belt…and the b*tch comment, while also below the belt, in all fairness was brought on by 1. the original insulter's obvious disinterest in providing an apology and 2. sheer provocation. However, I'd like to not get in the middle of that argument. I consider myself a civil woman and try my best not to behave disrespectfully where other women are concerned…for now, consider me the peace keeper, lol.
On to the ORIGINAL POST (looks like this just might end up being my catch phrase): I understand different women have differing moral stances on prenups, but I find that for the most part, it hinders on ego. Most of the women I hear denying the notion of a pre-nup give a "how dare he" response as if the request is a direct insult on their character. I'm sure the man that wants to spend the rest of his life with you isn't calling you a trifling when he asks you to sign a prenuptual agreement. There are THINGS (i.e. events) in life we are uncertain of, regardless of the PEOPLE in our lives we are certain of. I'm willing to bet Jenn never thought Brad would leave her for Angelina (more of a jenn fan myself), and if we examine our own parents or other relatives who have been the unfortunate participants in divorce proceedings, I'll bet my next three paychecks that in the beginning, they thought the rest of their lives would be peachy keen as well. Signing a piece of paper takes nothing away from one's thoughts of "happily ever after", it does however, appeal to one's sense of reality.
But just to make all the women here a little comfortable with the idea, a pre-nup ONLY protects the assets obtained PRE-NUPTUALLY. BY LAW, any assets (i.e. houses, cars, money) obtained DURING the course of marriage is a MARITAL ASSET and subject to ownership and division by both parties at the dissolution of marriage. So, if your fiance wants you to sign a piece of paper to legally keep you from taking the 66 Ford Mustang that was his first car and he spent the past 15 years working on before he married you…so be it. LOL..but here I go again sticking to the topic…I'm cooky that way, I guess (shrugging shoulders).
Oh and SBM, you really know your posters well…I've only read two blogs but I'd have to say your assessments are spot on, LOL
@Breelicious: This blog is like my house … I would hope I know everyone who comes through and chills.
@YBL: Well its still good to hear from you again.
@Hasani: Anti got both of us beat when it comes to money, so he's paying for everything!
Just now catching up on your blog (hope you are getting peace with your comments! Haha)
I must say #3 & #5 would be the main reasons why I would sign a pre-nup
I agree 150%. I'm going to draft my pre-nup now.