Distraught in DC (A female friend): “SBM … why are men so confusing?”
SBM: *rolls eyes* “What do you mean dear friend of mine? How are we confusing you?”
DD: “It’s just that you guys just aren’t clear with your feelings and intentions.”
SBM: “Actually I feel that most guys are simple creatures.  We’re usually pretty clear with what we mean … unless we’re lying. But lying isn’t just a guy thing by any means.”
DD: “No, I’m not calling you all liars. I just wish you would be clear.”
SBM: *knowing where this was going, I went ahead and stepped on the landmine* “What specific guy trouble are you talking about?”
DD: “Well, me and this guy have been dating for a month. Things are going great and I like him.”
SBM: “And the problem is?”
DD: “He doesn’t know what he wants. He told me he isn’t ready for a relationship.”
SBM: *looks puzzled* “What’s confusing about that? Sounds like he was pretty upfront.”
DD: “Yeah, but he acts so nice around me.  I can tell he wants more.”
SBM: “The Man said he isn’t going to wife you. Why are you fooling yourself?”
DD: “Whatever SBM. You don’t know guys. You have to see the way he acts.”

See Also:  #NoCountryFor Cuffing Season!

This conversation has played out so many times, with so many different variances, and in so many different ways … it’s crazy.  I’ve tried to look at it from different ways, different viewpoints, and different thought processes, but I keep coming to the same conclusion …

If someone says I don’t want X … then gotd*mnit … they just might mean it.

Lets look at another situation … from a male on male (pause) conversation.

Mad in MD (A male friend): “Man SBM … these chics out here are faking.”
SBM: *rolls eyes* “Whatever do you mean?”
MM: “So I’ve been seeing this girl for two weeks right. And she hasn’t slept with me yet.”
SBM: “Uh … please explain the faking.”
MM: “So she is at my spot, on the couch.  At this point we’re kissing and she is half naked, but she won’t go into the bedroom.”
SBM: “Ok, I see your point. That was leading you on.”
MM: “Yeah. She’s gonna say just because she already told me 5 times she doesn’t have sex until months into things, that’s why I can’t get my smash on.”
SBM: *realizes he is not talking to a delicate female* “WTF man.  The chic told you would be without pussy.  I mean props for trying, but what the f*ck you mad for. She told you … dumb motherf**r”
MM: “I’m just sayin man …”

See Also:  Relationships: Where Female Insecurity and Male Insensitivity Collide

And here it is again.  A wise man once said God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk … so why isn’t anyone listening.  So often do people blatantly tell you they don’t want to be with anyone (read: you), they don’t want to sleep with anyone (read: you), or even straight up “you will never be more than a jumpoff to me” … and yet the “I’m not gonna give up” or the “I can conquer all” mentality just won’t let us listen.

While this message is mainly aimed at the lovely ladies who grace me with their presence here, there are a couple of whining guys who need to take head too.

Actions do speak louder than words, and I don’t want people to think that once they hear these words that all hope is lost … but it just might be.  Words are not to be ignored.  I don’t care if he looks deeply into your eyes every night, every morning he tells you he doesn’t want to get ever married and that your sister is real sexy.

I know someone has some little story that goes against this wisdom, please share it … its is the anomally.  Who else is an avid listener taking head to the truth? Who are the ones convinced they can enact change? Let me know …