I’m sitting at my desk jamming to a 90’s hip hop mix when Wreckx-N-Effect’s infamous “Rump Shaker” came on. As I was shaking my rump at my desk, my mind wandered back to a question that a girl I mentor asked me, “what type of men are you into?”. This is such a good question. On my blog, I’ve already outlined some of the men to avoid so I think it’s time to investigate some of the things that stand out to women about men.
Hair…
Some women like men to have a specific type of hair style and others don’t but I think that we all agree in that your hair should be neat and somewhat styled. What does this mean exactly? If you’re bald, spit shine that or we will. Have locks? That is really sexy as long as they aren’t sh*t locks. Maintain that hairline and make sure the locks are properly maintained. Rockin the wild look like Lenny Kravitz circa 2008? Puhlease make sure that you’re hair is moisturized and the hairline is kept up. Have the Nutty Professor fro? Well, there’s actually not much I can say here. That sort of thing doesn’t so much appeal to me but to each is their own. I’m a NY-er and a popular cut up there is the Caeser. I LOVE a man with a Caeser. So sexy… either way, keep it funky and keep it fresh with the hair. We pay attention to that.
Scent…
There’s nothing worse then the smell of a funky man. And to be perfectly honest, with Axe, Tag, and all these other man-geared-smell-good companies there’s no reason why all men don’t smell good. Before we go any further on this, I do need to clarify one or two things.
- the Axe/Tag deodorants are not for the gym or any strenuous activity so don’t use it for such. Please stick to Degree and other more powerful deodorants as these deodorants are for dates, walks in the park, snuggling up in front of the tv, etc.
- no matter what the commercials say, dousing yourself in these scents will not send me or any other female I know chasing after you. And please don’t try to douse yourself in this in lieu of bathing… huge no-no.
ok… and we’re back.
Shoes…
I hate when I see a cute guy who’s dressed ‘nicely’ but has on some jacked up shoes. Yes fellas, women do the elevator look too and if we happen to come upon your shoe game and it’s lackluster, best believe we’re high tailing it the other way. The question that I often get is, “ladebelle isn’t it a little shallow to pre-judge based on shoes?” and the answer is, yes, yes it is but I don’t care. Shoes speak to me. How? Because if he can’t buy and then maintain a decent pair of shoes then surely he cannot handle me or my maintenance. That’s how I feel about it and I’m sticking to it.
Of course I wouldn’t be so shallow as to say that only these physical/materialistic things are all that matter. I mean, personality and sh*t matter too. But I really do think that Wreckx-N-Effect had it right with the line of “I like the way you comb your hair and the stylish clothes you wear…” when it comes time to pick out a member of the opposite or same if you roll that way sex. So ladies, what am I missing from here? Let the fellas know what we’re looking at. And fellas, what does your hair, scent, and shoes say about you? Do you think this is fair that these are some of the things we should be checking for? Talk to me!
xoxo
ladebelle aka the original rump shaker
I thought that was Debarge's line originally …oh well moving on I agree a upkept appearance and grooming and FITNESS are paramount but don't get METRO with it please, like waxing every part of your body isn't necessary and quite suspect..you are a man.
Its the substance of the fellow that really makes him underneath the fly proper attire, smell good and various charms…is he about something, is he honest and heterosexual, does he have intregity & honor, etc does he believe in and have a relationship with the LORD, is he promiscuious, whats his HIV status????etc etc etc etc
I completely agree with you ladebell
While physical appearance and how some one dresses isn't 100% of the reason you are attracted to someone why would you think about talking to someone that is a sloppy mess and looks like they don't care to take care of themselves?
I love this list, ladebelle!
"And please don’t try to douse yourself in this in lieu of bathing… huge no-no."
Perfumed funk: A silent killer. You'd think this would be common knowledge by now, but it ain't. This is WORSE than the original funk. It's a more pronounced funk. Nobody wants to smell musty Dakar cologne.
But a great smelling man can give me all kinds of whiplash. Makes me wanna follow that ninja home.
"Of course I wouldn’t be so shallow as to say that only these physical/materialistic things are all that matter. I mean, personality and sh*t matter too. But I really do think that Wreckx-N-Effect had it right with the line of “I like the way you comb your hair and the stylish clothes you wear…” when it comes time to pick out a member of the opposite or same if you roll that way sex."
Exactly. Personality matters in the long run, but you don't hear men passing by women down the street saying, "Yo, Ma! You got a Phat Personality!" or women walking pass a man saying to their friends, "Damn, girl, did you see him? He got the Personality of a Greek God!". The initial attraction is usually based on the superficial. Nothing wrong with that. We's visual creatures.
Other things that catch my eye:
– A nice hat. Something about a Kangol kicked a bit to the side adds this calm coolness to a brotha that attracts me.
– Their walk. Yes, that swag walk. Mmmmhmmm.
– A nice tailored suit. Looks like you're going places. Mine, to be specific. 😉
I validate this post. 😉
Even with these things, still never satisfied…
i definitely agree with this list. i'm also a fan of a dude who dresses well and puts his own flavor into what he puts on.
but really, i'm a bigger fan of the way a dude carries himself. if he walks around with an air of cool confidence, his appearance doesn't seem to matter as much (and no, he can't be butt-ugly / crazy-looking lol).
like just be clean, kempt and a lil fashionable
Thats all I need
*shrugs*
I don't expect no man to say "you need to have acrylic overlay, blond highlights and wear dereon everyday"
So I wouldn't put that shit on him
Oh..but the SHOES SAYS IT ALL, if he got on okay outfit, but his shoes are in SHIP SHAPE..then he cares. Men care about their shoes more than anything
I'mma sucka for a man with a tight shoe game! I love shoes and not just the typical feminine fetish–I'm talkin sneakers, sandals, heels, wedges, flip flops, etc. So he gotta have his kicks off the chain! Nothing fresher than a pair of all white forces in the summer time! But my number one–he must, must, be able to do what I call "code switch." Don't get me wrong, I can throw slang around just like the next hood chick, but there's a time and place for eveything. When I'm with my girls, fosho. But in the superintendent's office (I'm a teacher), umm not so much! So a man who can work words and conversation is a plus! If he can shoot the sh*t with his boys and then turn around and head to the boardroom and still command respect—I LIKE!
I must say, I'm not huge into the shoe game. That goes with my personality though. I don't wear shoes that are falling apart or anything like that, but I don't invest heavily in my footwear unless I have to. Part of that has to do with having trouble finding shoes in my size. Half the shoes I would buy aren't made in a 14.
@ Slim
Small footed dudes and youngins play the shoe game. I wear a 12 and I can't tell you how many times I pick out a shoe and the sales associate says "we on't even have dat size." Dress shoes is a little different but I only rock them when they clean up.
I used to be concerned with shoes, but now that I'm grown and haven't had anyone by me a pair of shoes in almost 18 years, I don't care. If they are buying, they can make all the criticisms they want. I just feel it's a girly thing to compete against and I really don't have a wardrobe to justify 12 different pairs of AF1s.
@tiffany I agree dudes have to be able to switch the convo up. Everyone needs to be able to do that. There is a girl at my job that doesn't understand that. She will be on the elevator with our vp and the way she talks you would think she never took an english class
Hair, Scent and Shoes… Funny, I could care less about this warm weather in the DMV as much as I want to get to the front of the line at Sports Zone in GTown today. I mean I feel like those three things are supporting facts of the more overlying quality and that's "swag." And not the played out use of the word, but just to describe the way a guy carries himself and how he puts himself together.
This is cool, but corny dudes can still nail all these points!
Shoe-game, you have to have the caveat that time and place is a huge factor. If you see me at the corner store, chances are that I wont be @ my freshest. I wont wear kix with holes in em, but you might catch me in my workout kix fa sho.
I dont got 3000 pairs of sneakers, I cop about 5 pairs a year, maybe, but do believe they will be super official.
My clothes game is very modest and humble. I trend here and there but I focus on being me, rockin clothes with my personality built-in, and making it all work!
naw..too many shoes unless you a celeb is kinda…well..ion know..
just a decent amount you good..long as they in shape
and of course we ladies dont expect you to have on hard bottoms playing basketball or going to the grocery store
wtf
Slim and CPT, trust, the reason why you can't find shoes in your size to keep your shoe game up like that should override the fact you don't have a shoe fetish. 😉
Man with too big feet to get every shoe > Man with shoe fetish.
@CPT
Glad you can sympathize.lol. If someone has something to say about my shoes or wardrobe, then they can take me to the store with plastic card in hand and pick some stuff out and I will yay or nay it before they purchase it for me.
Exactly! I'll let these size 10 dudes play that game! I'm more concerned about fresh drawers and socks. As long as I have those stockpiled, I'm usually good!
I would like for you to be neatly groomed. That includes a nice haircut with edge and the facial hair trimmed. Lotion or some type of moisturizer is a must. No ashy hands or dirt under the nails. He should smell fresh not fruity like a woman and be dressed with effort. That means matching.
Seeing as half the shoes I like aren't made in 13/14, my shoe game isn't a major part of my appearance, nor do I care about it that much. Not to mention not a 'lot' of chicks dig my skate shoes to begin with lol.
My hair, scent, and shoe game would suggest to women that I am a gay man [II], even though I'm not. I'm pretty damn "metrosexual", I like taking care of myself. Nothing too outrageous (face scrubs and pedicures), just haircuts (eyebrows done too, fuck what you think), and a more than decent wardrobe. But that is contrary to my personality, because women automatically assume that I'm conceited. All I can say is that there is always more than what meets the eye… sometimes. Ha!