(Ring Ring went the iPhone)
Dr. J: eeeHello!
Black Girl Lost: J can I tell you something and you not judge me?!
Dr. J: Good morning to you too. Yes, go ahead.
BGL: OK so maybe last night, I may or may not have slept with Joe’s little brother.
Dr. J: Joe, you’re ex-boyfriend Joe?
BGL: Oh my God, I know you make it sound so bad. But Joe is a piece of crap, and he pissed me off this week.
Dr. J: I’m going to need you to realize how much of a hot mess you are right now.

Everybody has had their 15 minutes of shame. Not to be mistaken with the walk of shame. It is 15 minutes of something you know you had no business doing.

1) You slept with that person everyone at your school/job/network knew was a jumpoff
Everybody knows somebody that’s easy. And I hope that most of us know that by this point when you sleep with someone who is known as being easy, it affects your credit history. It could be your local campus jumpoff who everybody knows just smashes everybody who approaches her. Or it could be that one dude on campus that has slept with mad chicks and you sleep with him anyway and everyone is like “eww we already know what you about to do.”

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2) You slept with someone you know your homie had feelings for
The fellas and me live by a strict 2-4-6 rule, with a franchise tag. You have two weeks to get the number, 4 weeks to get a date, and 6 weeks to smash. After that, she’s back to the free agents pool and anyone can holla. The ONLY exception is the franchise tag, which you can throw on a chick if you have serious feelings for and are taking things slow. You are only allowed one franchise tag at a time. Other than that… that chick is fair game for someone else to smash. However, some of you’s know you have smashed someone that your boy or home girl definitely had feelings for.

3) You did some sick sadistic sex activity that you hope to never remember
This really doesn’t need to be discussed. You people know who you are.

4) You said something stupid to get the sex
Women are conniving. And they love to get you all the way to the point of entry and ask you a question like, “So where do you see things going?” This is probably the worst time to ask a man anything because he’s likely to just tell you whatever you want to hear and not be sincere. But some women have been guilty of doing this too. A guy will ask you if you’re going to break up with your man, and you’ll tell him that you are planning to do so right away. Months later you’re still having this conversation.

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5) You slipped up and effed your ex
Stop FRONTING! People know they still be hitting off their exes months after they break up when they know they shouldn’t be doing so. You may be talking to someone else and you still dip out and rationalize your cheating by telling yourself it doesn’t count since you already slept with the person. I know too many people who years after they break up with their HS boyfriend they still be letting him smash well into their twenties. Stop fronting!

The 15 minutes of shame is about everyone knowing they wrong, but heck things happen and you can’t always prevent them. You just got to be able to deal. You’ll react differently, sometimes you are just quiet for a few days and tell yourself over and over again, “I need to get my ish together.” Or if you’re a female, you’ll say something that nobody on this planet ever believes, “I’m never drinking again.”

I LOVE to bring out the 15 minutes of shame when people love to judge other people. I’m quick to tell people, hey that might be some grimy/sleezy behavior, but you know that all of us have had our moments when we knew we had no business doing what we was doing.

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What’s the deal though readers? Care to share any of your 15 minutes of shame stories?

– Dr. J is now taking fall applications for my Fall assistant position.