We all have found ourselves in situations we didn’t want or need to be in.

I’m not talking about the awkward moment when you accidentally talked about backshots in front of your girlfriend’s dad, or the time your boyfriend yelled at you about squirting all over the bedroom without knowing that your church group was in the living room.

No, I’m talking about relationships.

This is something that spans both sexes, multiple races, and happens on every single continent.  But … since I am merely one “Single” Black Male … I can only speak on what I know.  And that’s the gleaming moment in a guy’s life when he realizes that she is not “the one”.

There are a lot of things that cloud our minds when it comes to determining a girl is no good.  No gag reflex, an extremely “open mind”, and several years of professional acrobatic training.  These things have kept many a good man (and woman) in situations that they just needed to run from … and I’m talking about sprinting, no looking back, the cops are chasing me type of running.

So as I strive to imbue my wisdom lessons learned from a true life of randomness.  I leave you with:

5 Ways to Know that she AIN’T “The One”

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She fails the door-lock test

Anyone who has seen “A Bronx Tale” knows exactly what I am talking about.  If you let her into your car, and she makes no effort to ensure that your door is unlocked for you when you go to open it … then she probably isn’t “The One”.  It seems simple and stupid, but a girl that really cares for you will keep you on her mind.

She never ever ever supports you

Whether it’s a new business venture, a new car purchase, or just your choice of a tie in the morning.  If she can’t root for “team you” … then she needs to be put out as a free agent.  Something that is stressed less and less as time goes on, but is very important is the fact men need a little bit of coddling support.  If we aren’t getting it from our girl … then off to the strip club for dollar bill therapy!

She doesn’t look good to you anymore

Now, this may just be me … but when I love a woman … and I mean really really love her from the depths of my being … she always looks good.  Personally, that is the surest way I can tell when I’m done with a girl.  Doesn’t matter if you put on weight, changed your hair, or did something else … as long as my heart still yearns for you … you are Ms. America to me.  If you suddenly can’t even win Ms. PG County in my eyes … time to go.

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You keep thinking of reasons not to see her

If you don’t want to see her … she aint “the one”.  I mean … do I need to say more.

The beats are bad

Just like the beauty comment, if you really feeling someone and your attracted to the real “essence” of her … your smashing and beats are gonna be good.  Bad beats = relationship death.

As always, the list is left incomplete on purpose.  I only know a little bit … but together … we know a lot (yeah … that was inspirational … wasn’t it).  Can someone please complete my list?

– SBM aka “I swear she was a dime before … now she ain’t even a nickel”

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