********
I want you all to welcome LJ Knight from YeahSheSaidIt.com. Although I know you all love us like no others … I like to change things up and bring in some pinch hitters to spice it up. Enjoy n sh*t. Feel free to hit me up on twitter or email to let me know if you love it or hate it! I really do wanna know!
-SBM aka That Reggin
*************
Just like the guys got their turn on “4 Things I don’t understand about women”, I had to set the record straight with something’s I just don’t get about men.
As I sit here enjoying my solitude, I try to put myself in a man’s shoes and gravitate towards his thinking process. After many attempts at this feat, the only success I have had is in managing to acquire a headache. I never have and probably never will understand some of the decisions, logic (sometimes lack of), and reasoning that the average man has. I am not a man hater. I am however, someone who will hold anyone accountable for their actions and bulls**t behaviors. I’m only being real….
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends
Most women could care less about whether or not their man spends time with his boys. It only becomes a problem when their man starts to put their guys before their woman. Why in the world should it ever be okay for you to spend more time with your guys and place them before your woman? Yet you still expect for your woman to be the one that washes your clothes, cooks for you, and caters to you sexually and emotionally? Wah! Then you get mad when she asks you are you gay?
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single
If you want to be able to slang pole freely then why even play the game? Why even tell a chick “yeah baby, its just you and me”? Why not just keep it funky with the chick you are dealing with and tell her that you dig her but you want the relationship to be open. Believe it or not, there are many women who would go for that. It becomes your problem when you start to lie, cheat and sneak behind your woman’s back and make faux commitments. Then you are upset when your windows to your new car are busted. I’m just sayin…
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
Why do men screw up a relationship with a good woman who treats them like a king and then start dating a woman who is not worth their effort? She could be the biggest whore in their neighborhood, have a vagina like a cesspool, and use men till they are bone dry, and still get love. The kicker is that once she finally screws them over for the last time and they finally figure out that this woman is no good, they find another good woman, but are so resentful and bitter from their last relationship that they are unwilling or unable to treat this woman with any appreciation. Thus continues the cycle of stupidity.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Men have a fascination with women and anal s*x. They are always trying to maneuver themselves in the sacred hole where things are only supposed to go out not come in. Anal s*x is a horrible painful, unnatural, activity in my opinion. Therefore, no we don’t think it is cute when you accidentally slip it into the danger area. Stay away from my naughty hole!
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong
Men need to feel like they are their woman’s biggest, and best lay. She needs to see doves fly when he enters her erogenous zone. She needs to climb walls, speak Swahili, and praise his name. Sorry guys, not every man is King Kong.
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary
Is there such thing as a male parthenophobic? (fear of virgins) Most men don’t necessarily prefer virgins but her sexual exploits better not outnumber his or all hell is going to break loose. Newsflash: Just as you have had your hot fun in the summer nights, so have we. In other words, stop expecting for the woman that you have or plan on wifing up to be less experienced than you. She had a s*x life before you, just like you did and you are not the first (or the last) who will want to get all in that.
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex
No dear, not every woman is going to want you. So there is no need for you to fear commitment and think that you might be missing out on something. Now, I’m aware that there are more men than women in this world, however, not every woman is going to want you! Love the chick that is giving a damn about you today.
LJ Knight
www.YeahSheSaidIt.com
If, You Don’t Say It, I Will
Number 3 and 7 always happen to me! This post was the truth on top of truth! That's all i really have to say!
Exactly. It is HIGHLY annoying to deal with men who are ambivalent. If you want a SERIOUS relationship, man up and do what is needed, if not there is no need to even broach the issue with someone. Stay with the smutbags and stop sending mixed messages.
This is a great post and I have to co-sign on especially 1,2, and 3. I don't get why men can't grow up and spend time with their woman instead of always hanging around the boys and acting like kiddies. I think that this just shows how some men just can't handle responsibility and want to remain juvenile with their friends.
And don't even get me started on number 2 and 3. Men are such cowards sometimes. They often think we can't handle the truth and they lie to keep us around with false promises like we're not woman enough to handle the truth.
Number 3 really pisses me off especially since I've been the victim of this. I don't get it. I don't understand why men run away from a great thing to the arms of trash. My thing is they must be either stupid or too afraid to be happy with a good woman. That last one really confuses me. I don't understand if you have a good woman and you're happy, why sabotage it?!!
"They often think we can’t handle the truth and they lie to keep us around with false promises like we’re not woman enough to handle the truth."
Yes most women can handle the truth, but have you ever met a woman who couldnt? THE WORSE EVER. And any woman can be that woman
That's true I can agree a woman who can't handle the "truth" is the worst ever… I have been it…I have seen it… but don't you guys have some sort of way to tell which is …which is so you don't have to waste ur time lien?
That last one really confuses me. I don’t understand if you have a good woman and you’re happy, why sabotage it?!!
It's because those guys aren't happy.
As I scrolled back up so that I could write which points struck the most cords, I realized that they all did!! Please let these fellas know!! My favorite would have to be #6 though, double standards are NOT the way to go!! When will they learn?! Great great great post! I will be checking out your site!
lol at #4…
Uhm… Eff the rear exit hole (not literally) lol… We stay away from there like we do VH1 TV shows & chics with bad weaves…
smh…
I want to add a sub point to #6 for the men who think virgins (or celibate women) are crazy. They either spend all of their time trying to "break" you down & get the goods to prove their game is just that on point. Or, they avoid you b/c they think that once the goods are got, you'll become clingy or stalk them. Why can't men have "normal" relationships/interactions with women who aren't sexually active?
I know that sex can be a big part of a relationship, but can the prospect of no sex sour a man on a girl that he REALLY likes?
^ This right here is the ONE thing I swear I will probably never get about men! And for some random reason it always seems to happen in one of those 2 ways.
Similar to what i said to internetdrama upstream, yes we know that virgins/celibant folk arent all crazy but when you meet a crazy one, they'll make your life hell.
I AGREE. Not to mention… I wouldn't want to be with a virgin dude not because he'd go all Fatal Attraction on me if I decided to bounce but because he would probably be awful.
'
Don't men like women who know what the hell they're doing? I know they like to be first… but damn. If I was a dude, there'd be only so much "oowwww… ouch! Damn! Slow down… ohhhh owwwww! Okay okay okay hold on" I could take before I'd just tell her to hop on a d*ck or two and holla at me in a month.
Yes the prospect of no s*x can sour a man … but just like the prospect of not having anything you like can do it. If you really love chicken and your potential mate is an avid vegetarian … then thats a problem. If you like home cooked meals and your potential refuses … then you dip.
S*x is just like anything else … if you want it and its important to you why would you give it up?
If its something that you can live without though … u give it up.
See, I get that being ain a relationship where your needs aren't met isn't good and I respect that. My issue is with men that avoid getting to know or getting into relationships with women that aren't s*xually active w/o even really trying to make it work first. Why not try being with that person long enough and forming a bond deep enough where they would actually want to give you some cutty (or atleast discuss the prospect) lol. Abstinence & celibacy aren't forever, unless you're marryinga priest . . . and then you have an entirely different set of issues, lol. Eventually you will have s*x again, maybe not while in this relationship but with somebody. Virgin/Celibate women aren't out collecting the peens of every man they meet, lol, you will have s*x again.
I, also, believe that if you really want to be with somebody then you can try to compromise. No intercourse doesn't translate to no s*xual satisfaction at all. There are other ways . . .
It's not really about not giving people who aren't sexually active a chance, it's more about having a list of major needs in a relationship and not getting those met.
If you get in a relationship with an individual who is celibate, that's not a one-sided thing. The other person has to not only respect that, but be willing to accept that lifestyle as their own, in a sense. Now, I give props to everyone who makes that decision, but it's not for me. Period.
I have needs and I am unashamed about them. I respect everyone's decision to live the way they wish, but I don't have to date them. Everyone is entitled to find people who offer what they're looking for, including sex.
Side note: I don't understand how someone who meets a person who claims to be celibate or abstinent would believe there would be an opportunity for them to get with that person. That's a big decision and if I'm going to walk around telling people I'm waiting until marriage, I'm going to mean it.
Amen…sister I totally agree…its totally annoying! Like no dynamic besides their own is realistic. I read somewhere they interpret the "celibate" thing as aka for a man really screwed us over in the past ..so they the book states they see that "celibate" thing as a wall…like saying NO U CANT HAVE IT cause of what TOMMY did.
I co-sign every single one on the list; especially number 2. Why fake like you want a committment when all you want is to have easy access. Be a man about it and be honest and open and you'll get more bees with honey, because lies will have you cringe every time you hear that Jazmine Sullivan song.
As far as number #1 goes, I think that the rationale is, "a ninja that hang out more, will come home and love you better…don't have that ninja all up under you, let him be free…why you acting like that Michell'e?"
First of all welcome!
I co-sign this post for sure….everthing you touched on struck home with me….except 4. lol. I really don't have a problem with that one under the right circumstances and with the right person…
I really don't have anything to add because you said it all, pretty much…..
http://i35.tinypic.com/ldxyb.jpg
lol. my job blocked your link.
Lets just say… I'm Will and Queen T is Geoffrey.
LOL! You are a fool Cheekz!!
LMAO@ your link.. and what you said about Sane, you're a FOOL!!!
but dang, it's like THAT!?!? i need to find a friend like you where i'm at.. lol
Totally with you on #2 and #3 – especially #3!
But I think the ladies are just as guilty of #7 as the men are.
GOOD POST. I NEED A MAN TO RESPOND TO THIS POST…JUST WONDER WHAT THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS IS TO THOSE THINGS
Don't worry – I'm sure Dr. J will be around shortly to school us all.
#5…lol…lawwwwwwwwd! This the truth the whole truth and nothin' BUT the truth. smh *sigh*
I just want to explain something. #3 is very interesting. I think before we can even begin to speak about #3 we have to establish that men and women judge women very differently. You wont believe how many times my SO will call a chick ugly and I'm like "Are you serious?" and vice versa. So just because you think she's wack, doesnt mean that he thinks or should think that she's wack. Furthermore, we feel the same way when you leave David w/ the good job and morals but is a bit corny for Tyrone Longstroke who is driving a beamer and lives on his mom's couch.
Secondly, sometime a guy realizes that he messed up and lost a good woman and wants to prove to himself that he can do the right thing in a relationship. Sometimes the first one around is the mudskipper.
Mr Peyso… I read that too men judge women differently than women judge women. I think we're skirting around a very important word here and its called: "Ego" … its just my humble opinion that an ego will make u wanna make a "hoe" ur house wife cause: she gives great head and never asks for anything. I believe its also "Ego" that will make u say dang I messed up with "Sussy" but I am going to wife up "Sheeka…the block freeka" …lol… its kinda senseless when u think about it… u make up for what u did wrong by changing things inside urself that needs to be changed- so u dont make the same mistake again. Thats called: Resolving the matter…lol
#1 is obvious – if I spend more time with my boys than you, it's probably because I like their company more – and – i'll probably leave you in the next 6 months or so.
#2 We get into relationships when wanna live single because we wanna be in a relationship – but we also wanna be single. Most men always want to be single – the desire to be single never leaves us – ever. It's just that, at varying points in our lives, the desire to be in a relationship is GREATER than the desire to be single. As the relationship has it's ups and downs, and as we grow comfortable and used to you – that desire starts creeping up. Not much you women can do about that other than doing your very best to keep your man happy. Hopefully, if you've picked a man of integrity with strong will-power – he'll be able to control the 35% of him that wants to be single in favor of the 65% of him that loves you to death and wants to make it work with you. Point is – the desire to be single never, ever leaves all the way.
#Lost a good woman… It happens, sometimes we get tired of the monotony of being with a woman who does almost everything the right way. Sometimes, we wanna be with a crazy chick. Usually, s+x is way better with a crazy chick than a nice, normal chick. I don't really encourage, or for that matter, know, anybody who has actually wifed up a well known JO – I think my circle of friends is way to thorough for that, but, I do know some dudes who've left nice stable women with good jobs in their mid- to late 20's for crazy, younger chicks who curse and still where Jordans. The answer – crazy chicks are usually great in bed.
When I hear dudes talking about how much they love #4 (my new term for that act), I always give them the side eye. There are two types of g_y people. The first are people who are born that way. The second are people who – if they were in jail for 10 years or more, might find themeselves with trying #4 with a dude while locked up. I think dudes who prefer, or like #4 excessivley from a woman, have a strong chance at being the latter were they to be locked up for a while. I agree – it's just not natural – exit only.
5. If I'm not the best you've ever had, I have a problem with that and we're going to have to keep working at this until you agree – in all honesty, that I am. You should appreciate my desire to be the best. It's important to me because I don't want you to ever feel like there's someone out there, who could satisfy you more. I try to maintain this approach in the bedroom, and in all other areas of the relationship. What you should be thinking about is, are you the best I've ever had – because if you're not – then I promise you, I'm actively thinking about that crazy chick who is.
#6 – There's a double standard – it's just something yall have to deal with. I don't think it's fair, but I do think, under current sociatal norms (which I may or may not agree with) it is logical. It's logical because, as men we're expected to sew our wild oats. Women are expected to as well, but not to the same extent. If you've sewn your wild oats to the same extent, or (gulp) to a greater extent than me, then that means you've gone way outside of what society expects. Some things are just too far – like – if you're a woman that's been with more than one guy – at the same time – we can't be together. I just can't get it out of my head that one day, I'm going to walk in a room with you and two guys are gonna look at each other like… 'yo… didn't we triz that' … damn, can't believe he wifed. So some wild oat sewing is fine – expected almost – but – there's a limit.
7 – Actually – all women do want me. I'm TheMostInterestingManintheWorld. J/K… but seriously. You're approaching this one from the wrong perspective. It's not about how many other women want or don't want a guy. Chances are, there really are a couple dozen women in his life that, if he tried, would let him in – regardless of his relationshp status. The perspective you need to approach this from centers around integrity. Are you with a person whose integrity will prevent them from straying.
Stay thristy my friends…
LMAO@ "stay thirsty my friends"
you just might be the most interesting man in the world.. i can't say you're the best, cuz well, ya know…
your last line on #7 stayed with me.. struck a chord, and all that..
i hear you on #5.. my motto is "i don't half step anything".. so i appreciate your desire to be the best at what you do.. lol
I've been known to throw out a curse word or two and I'm wearing Jordan's right now. What you trying to say?
@Sane – you don't strike me a crazy chick from your posts… but… you never know.
For the record, I still buy and wear jordans… i don't know too many women who do though. I'm sure you're rocking em right though. Do you tuck your jeans inside the tounge? That's classic, young, Brooklyn girl style… it never goes out of vouge where I live…
EVERYONE knows Pumas are where it's at… but i'm Jamaican, so maybe i'm biased.. lol
" I think dudes who prefer, or like #4 excessivley from a woman, have a strong chance at being the latter were they to be locked up for a while. I agree – it’s just not natural – exit only."
You use to be my hero…..
I could go my whole life with my d!ck on a Aurora Jolie diet. Holla!
**Askancing in Cheekz direction**
Yeah … I'm mad at your assessment of #4 also. Apparently you have just not experienced it.
Think if it like hamburgers and fliet mignon. Lets say "real men" eat hamburgers, although filet mignon tastes better. It both comes from the same place and I don't think you should feel bad because filet mignon tastes better … if it comes from the SAME place!
I'm sorry … but your title as TMIMINW might get revoked. Leave that "closet gay" isht for Tyler Perry movies.
Askancing @SBM… lol…
But nah, notice my word choice – I said dudes who "prefer, or like excessively." Once in a while, I can understand. At the end of the day though, for me, I love the other one too much. If given the choice, which we always are, I'm going to choose the one that was tailor made for my pleasure. Like I said in a previous post, nothing on earth feels better than being inside when she gets hers.
Y'all may have some very good reasons for wanting it that way – but yeah, a LOT of women will look at you askance if #4 becomes the main event…all the time.
It's a preference…just like long hair vs. short hair with men. I think Dr J ( I think it was him) got jumped all over yesterday because his preference is with long hair. If Most doesn't like packn' poop shoots it's okay…doesn't make him any LESS interesting than it makes you more because you might like to wade in asses.
"wade in asses" #DEAD
(why did I think of the old Negro spiritual though?)
Thank you Seven! Glad you and I are ending the week off in agreement 🙂
@Word – I thought of the spiratual too – sounded funny… lol.
LOL at the thought of a wade in ass spiritual.
My pleasure Most…I do offer intermittent breaks from my nagging…just long enough to reel you back in for more. hehehehehe j/k…kinda. 😉
Profound! And well articulated! It would appear you are more experienced in life than I am but I do have some rebuttals.. #6 "societal" I have a problem w/ society …because society at large isn't that bright, they are rather simple and placing simplicity on a woman is like trying to fit a round circle in a square box. Many women cannot fit into that mold. We would be more accurate if we related a person's behavior too … "environment" …, in my environment where I grew up there was such dysfunction that it made no sense for you too follow the rules of society…u would get ur blank chewed up and spit out!!! So I relate this to my last post… you're simply saying the "male ego" is always going to take precedence of time, logic, reason, and circumstance.
Much respect for your honesty and wisdom Most. Preciate ya.
let's see where to start. so many things on this list that women do more than men if not more. but since this list is about men let's just keep it there.
1. if you are involved with a man who would rather spend the majority of his time with his boys than with you, then that speaks volumes about what he thinks about you. *shrug* i know there are numerous things that my woman can do for me that my boys can't. who am i going to be laid up with at night? definitely not my boys.
2. i don't understand this myself.
3. the next woman is a muskRAT according to whom? you? your opinion doesn't count. its biased because you are probably jaded and most likely blinded to any positive attributes the next woman might possess. and if you were such a good woman i doubt he would have left you. oh but it couldn't possibly be your fault right?
4. i think a man's fascination with this is most men are turned on by the taboo. this explains why most men fantasize about threesomes, swallowing, tony danzas and birmingham booty calls (well not so much with the last two).
5. a man's ego is a fragile thing. he has to know that he did his thing. i don't really expect a woman to understand the male psyche when it comes to this.
6. maybe i'm in the minority with this. i want my woman to be experienced. as long as she is safe and didn't do anything too outlandish (like letting the football team run a train) i'm cool. i want a woman to know what she is doing. i don't have patience to be trying to teach a woman to go after what she likes/wants.
7. i can agree with you on this one.
Tunde —
As far as #3 goes, we can't ALL be jaded. Every woman on this thing — and beyond — will co-sign that post. If it hasn't happened to us, it's happened to a friend or co-worker, or the grocery girl. Somebody we know. And I'm not saying the first woman was THE BEST he'll ever have… but we're saying there is a round-about consensus that the 2nd girl, is a wh0rem0nger. That's all. Not that wh0rem0ngers don't have feelings too. But I've seen so many men try to wife em down & get upset when she shows her wh0re-ish ways. If it quacks like a duck then dammit it's a duck!! Then men get on this attitude (real quickly I might add) that relationships are for lames and the next woman they are not gonna give 2 ripe s-hits about. That's the cycle, it takes a man one good heartbreak (usually from a woman he should've known better to date anyways) before he starts acting out w/ other women. You know how many heartbreaks women will go through before they start that ish??
Signed,
You should've heard em Quackin…
well let me speak for myself. i have never downgraded from one woman to the next. matter of fact i have never gone directly from one woman to the next, so the previous could never claim that i moved on a whoremonger. and let's not act like women don't downgrade. *side-eying my exes* lol
but we’re saying there is a round-about consensus that the 2nd girl, is a wh0rem0nger. That’s all.
Then if this is a consensus, then you must admit that just about every women EVER to be in a relationship was that 2nd girl. Every women think they're the best thing since the first paper plate… That doesn't mean that you are and it doesn't mean that you b/c dude who was lying to you about the 2nd girl he left you for, wasn't lying to you when he told you (and still telling you probably you're the best). Homie lied about everything else in the relationship but he didn't when he said you was the best. Nah ma… He was lying to you then too. But don't fret, someone out there REALLY thinks you're amazing.
This is all fluff, unless you admit that given you're always the 2nd girl, then you must be a wh0rem0nger. lol
Amen! Tunde… u are 100% on the money
thanks. i try to drop a little knowledge. lol
Tunde I'm gonna need a definition on "tony danza" please.
go to urbandictionary and type it in. i will not have you all thinking that way of me on this blog. lol
OMG I'm traumatized and I blame you!
Oh, that's too funny! I would love to see that happen (to somebody else, mind you). Judd Apatow needs to make that happen because I don't think I could stomach seeing it for real in a pron or something.
Pretty hilarious….!
I'm so enjoying this can't u tell…lol. I think the author isn't necessarily talking about herself and her experiences she is gathering information from SEVERAL different women and making it known that these things she speaks of is an EPIDEMIC not ISOLATED situations…thus she is trying to gather clarity not only for herself but for the population of women who are trying to connect with a good man.
So if you have followed me so far, than you can see that most these things are a pattern to us…than are we too say just cause our dear bf spends too much time with his guys but does everything else to our satisfaction we dont just drop him… we want to know why this FLAW is so prevalent.
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends {Simple. Your man has more fun with his boyz than he does with you. Maybe you should ask yourself why? Maybe if home were more pleasant he would bring the boyz over instead of hanging out in the street with them}
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single {Cause we want the pu$$y and pretending to love you is the only way some women will give it up. Also because we forget how much we hate relationships until we get into one and then we want out.}
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT {First of all evey ball busting, b@tch of a women thinks she is a "good women." The MuskRat knows what men want and is low maintenance. So she takes your man and the truth is it wasn't even hard.}
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone {The only way to find out if she will let you is to try. Many women that claim they don't or would never; Do and would if a dude knew what he was doing.}
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong {Applies to inexpierienced dudes only. Expierienced dudes know better.}
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary {Applies to inexpierienced dudes only. Expierienced dudes know better}
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex {I don't think this is why guys don't committ. I think every guy has different reasons.}
i'm gonna write down what i had before i forget it… then go and comment.. so forgive any duplicates.
#2,3, AND 7 have happened to me..
addendum to #3.. the one that wifed up a Muskrat AFTER you let me loose.. and STILL want to maintain communication with me, flirt, call and send me letters etc.. WTF?!?! i'm like, "you're with someone, why you wanna go and mess up my Karma by tryin to deal with me.. you wanted her to wear your ring.. you made your choice.. and NO, we can't be friends.."
the story of several of my married friends.. R.I.P. cuz we ain't friend NO MO!
everyone knows i'm like the "ninja boot camp".. they'll come to me all raggedy, and i'll whip them into shape.. and when i can't stand their idiodicy anymore, turn them loose.. THEN they finally "get it together and act right".. and i'm lookin around like, "what the hell just happened"..
that was my 20's.. NOT NO MO.. i am not Mother Teresa, i don't take on projects..
men are good for the "grass is greener" complex.. that's actually what i call it.. the thing is that when you realize that the grass isn't greener, then you wanna knock on my door AFTER i changed my number.. "there was always something about you.."
"YEAH FOOL, I KNEW THAT!!"
i need some of these fools to get their eyes checked.. and see me for the fabulousness i am..
GREAT POST!! i'm SURE i'll remember something else later..
Nick – I love the honesty in your post.
It's really hard for a man, who was 'whipped into shape" by a woman, to stay with that woman long term. It's tough for a number of reasons,
# 1 – he and her both know what he was before they got together. So there will always be a certain level of disdain in his heart for you. That disdain stems from the fact that he knows that he wasn't man enough to make himself into the man he is now – he needed you to do that. He will always love you for it and resent you for it.
#2 it can't work because, when he was just Peanut from Myrtle ave, nobody but hoodrats were really checking for him. Now that you've cleaned him up and started calling him by his first name, alot of other chicks are noticing. Now he has options. He didn't choose you, you chose him. Now, he has the ability to choose for himself. The desire to explore these new found options is often too great to pass up.
So – my advice to you – find a man that has it together already.
this is GREAT feedback. I have been in that position and it has always baffled me. preciate this.
THANK YOU for the compliment "Most Interesting".. matter of fact, i look at my ex now.. still wearing the clothes i bought him.. and shake my head.. i now know how to recognize an insecure man and emasculated man.. it's a finely honed skill.. not only that, but you're right.. he did resent me, he moved from job to job while i had my job for more than 5 years..
"you're emasculating me.."
i looked at him all askance.. "easily solved, get a job.. cuz i'm not quitting mine"..
he's told me he wasn't ready for me.. after he showed up on my doorstep one afternoon..
that's cool.. i thank you for the "if i knew then, what i know now" heart to heart..
but let everyone know i already put in my community service hours.. I'M DONE!
signed.. "one day he'll find me….. and we'll bless every room in my house…" lol #onmyemosh*t
Why you sleepin, girl? Wake up!
GIRL!!! i said that was my 20's.. i'm 31 now.. NOT NO MO!!
AND i got outta my last relationship when i was 25-26 (been so long, i can't remember..)
so yeah, you do the math…. lol.. i'm wide the hell awake now though…. WITHOUT the coffee too..
Nickelodean… ha! I get it now…
1. I feel you, but I think most of my boys will warn a dude. Man when the last time you seen your girl.
2. Damn son.
3. Probably because you didn't want to do #4.
4. If a man feels he can do this to you without warning, he doesn't respect you. Move on.
5. You just don't want her thinking there is a King Kong not named you.
6. Jury's still out on this one.
7. If there's grass on the other side, I don't want it. I prefer my women waxed.
Ha! @ your #7
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends
I have to agree with Tunde on this point, there are so many things my woman does that my boys can’t do for me. She would definitely get most of my free time (assuming this is my girl and I’ve established that we’re compatible and I enjoy her company). But what is “a ridiculous amount of time”? Some women think if your boys come by to watch the game or you visit someone else, that’s too much time. Overall, I have to cosign this point. What grown man doesn’t want to spend his free time in the company of a beautiful woman?
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single
I agree there are a lot of dudes that do this. These are “weak game” players that instead of being upfront and telling a woman he just wants a FWB, will use a “relationship” as an artifice to have a steady stream of beats. I don't understand it myself; there are a litany of career women working 60-hour work weeks that's simply looking for a occasionaly tune-up. It's easy pickings out there, so why lie?
But that's only some men. It's not always because a man is weak. Sometimes, we just enjoy both sides of the fence. We care about you, but want our space as well. Phonte can articulate it better than I can:
Sometimes I think I'm from another world (preach)
When I'm trying to tell a woman just exactly where I stand at (aight)
I want a girl, when I want a girl
And when I don't want a girl, I want a girl who understands that
And that's some hard sh!t to explain
To a woman that's in love with you, it's a pitiful thing
Until I had to figure, that I don't wanna play around
But I don't wanna settle down, and that's a man's dilemma
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
Good woman is subjective. And even if you are a “good” woman, that doesn’t mean you were good for him. Ex-wh0res need love too (they won’t get it from me, but I’m just saying).
Although I find it odd to mention the man who selects a woman who was a muskrat made a poor choice, then come back with point 6 and defend women who aren’t “less experienced” that her man.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Although it’s not my cup of tea, this is easy to explain. It’s for the same reason we like oral and t!tty fooking. Part of it is changing it up, part of it is because we’re horndogs and want to do something that’s not the norm. If we thought we could stick it in your ear or ure+hra without causing serious bodily harm, we’d be trying that too.
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong
I guess I can’t relate. Since my skills are nonpareil, I never inquire about how good it was. Women usually testify to me after the fact. Of course, women lie, but you can’t fake a true 0rga$m to a man that knows what he’s doing.
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary
Cosign. As long as she hasn’t boinked one of my friends or family, and her body count isn’t in the stratosphere, we’re good.
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex
I partially cosign. Sometimes you actually are missing out on something, especially if during the dating phase you are discovering that you are not very compatible. The whole point of dating is to find the greenest grass. But a lot of silly negros will cheat because another woman is physically attractive. If that’s the case, you will never be satisfied, because there is no such thing as the most beautiful woman in the world. No matter how much of a ten she may be, you’ll find someone else more attractive.
yesssssssss. that line from LB is my MOTTO.
Slow it Down is a dope track!
I brings a tear of joy to this old man's face when women recognize Little Brother.
"Ex-wh0res need love too"
OMG I don't know why but this made me laugh REALLY loud! Such a mess! Thank you for that Hugh…haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just want to go on the record and say that although I approved this post … I don't agree with the vast majority of the list. #4 should really get dropped with the quickness.
#1 – I just don't understand (and never have) why I need to give up my life long friendships for my girl. Rarely are these complaints born by someone never seeing their girl … its usually someone salty because every third Friday is spend "with the boys" instead of watching S*x in the City reruns. The definition of "too much" is what's gotta get checked.
#2 – Usually I would realize I don't want the relationship afterward, although it felt right b4. Also, brothers are reguarly pushed into these against their wills.
#3 – Ok … don't really got nothing. But … sometimes this "good women" aren't really that good at all … and the new girl is a "muskrat" because ol girl is just hatin …with her hatin ass.
#4 – I like to deep dive. Suck it up! No guts no glory … so let me get them guts.
#5 – Again … nothing really. Unless we are talking about those women who feel it is their duty to "let their man know". STFU. But … if he is asking … he's soft.
#6 – F all that. You know I don't want no hoebag. I can only ask this because I have exercised discerning taste with all the women on my moderately sized list.
#7 – ok … I can so-sign this.
Yeah bump numba 6, remember all those dicks you messing with now. I mitigate this because I will never ask you and I will never answer you about a numba, if you clean you cool, but it betta not be public or I dont need you coming out that you a hoebag. If you need some dick, get it discreetly.
Being a ho is NOT cute, for either sex. For a girl, you just look used up. For a guy, PERSONALLY, I get sketched out because I feel like you rammed up in all hood-rats and you may be burning, itching, discharging, all types of funky sh*t that I don't want no part of. Being experienced is good, but being a dirty-d*ck muhfucca will definitely dry up the good.
PSA for the People: If you're gonna do ho sh*t and f*ck 359365826 people a day keep it to yourself. And wrap it up.
"Discreet dick"… I almost fell out of my chair!
2. When a man says whatever the f*ck he can think of to get some easy beats, what do you expect the girl to do but feel a connection with this guy? He is aware that he is fraudulent and doesn't care. Accept the consequences for your actions, nobody is forcing you to do sh*t, it's simple cause and effect.
4. You like what you like and she likes what she likes. If she wanted to whip out a strap-on
and get some of that prison p*ssyyou would shut it down in a secondI assume… so why is she not allowed to have things she may not want to do either?5. The only time a woman will call a man Quick-Draw McGraw in the bedroom is if she's on her way out. We know that's a line you can't recross once you cross it.
^5 all of this!! especially pullin' out a strap on …lmao oh the looks we get…uhhh i mean WOULD get. *snickering*
Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
YES! CUT THE CHECK! CLOSE THE BOOK! I do not understand this sh*t for the life of me.
I know the muskrat might have jaw suction like a hoover but…SHE'S A MUSKRAT?!
do you not look at her? did your eyes stop working? LMAO
1. I have never met a man that does this and actually is happy with his relationship. I'm going to have to go with most of the guys on this one and say that they probably prefer the company of their boys at this point.
2. I've never actually had this happened to me, so I can't say much on it. I have seen it happen though in my friends relationships, but most of the time, the women knew what was going on before getting into that "relationship". I've seen this happen with a few women being the one who wanted to live single and still have the benefits of a relationship (20 Monopoly dollars to anyone who can guess who one of them is).
3. My ex-husband did this, but I can safely blame that on the drugs. I guess I'm kind of with the guys on this one again, whether or not they are upgrading/downgrading is all subjective.
4. No problem with it, if you approach me the right way and we're in a serious relationship. *shrugs*
Of course they're going to try, how else are they ever going to get successful and find someone who will let them do it. Closed mouths don't get fed (I just can't come up with a nasty euphemism here).
I just don't understand 5, 6, and 7 either so I don't have much to say on it, except that women have the same issues with the grass being greener and whatnot. Actually, I like to feel like I invented sex too, so I don't judge on #5.
"4. No problem with it, if you approach me the right way and we’re in a serious relationship. *shrugs*"
http://i34.tinypic.com/2lwu87q.jpg
http://i22.tinypic.com/28khag1.jpg
http://i17.tinypic.com/4y0inw8.jpg
i would like to nominate CheeKZ for having the best links for a friday.. thank you sweetie!!
and #4, been there, done that.. bought a postcard.. i'm straight..
although i was feel super frisky that day.. and i was in an "anything goes" kinda mood..
dudes gotta be mad special to get that from me again.. or i gotta be MAD faded…
I’m sorry … but your title as TMIMINW might get revoked. Leave that “closet gay” isht for Tyler Perry movies.
_________________________________
Phaaa. LOL I was just thinking the same thing. A ni@@a that doesn't do #4 can't possibly be the most interesting man in the world. Maybe the most mildly amusing man in the world. LOL.
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends You know you are in the right relationship when this is never EVER an issue. The momment one effects the other and either side complains, things need to change. And if you have good freind, most likely the girl needs to go. There is a chance the boys need to go, but that is HIGHLY unlikely. B/c boys don't complain. They might worry about you, but they don't complain. That is a female trait. Once you start measuring the amount of time we spend together and comparing it with the amount of time I spend with my ninja's.. you fail and need to get a life outside of your relationship. Which is probably the reason why I don't want to spend time with you
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single What's wrong with that? Tiger Woods is my hero. Just b/c you love someone, doesn't mean you don't love NEW poon? Why do you have to have one love? Plus lets say I want Sane85 (b/c I really do. She could sit on my face for a bus ride), but she only does 'serious relationships'. But I really want Sane, shouldn't I just lie?! Why deny myself someone I could have.. just b/c it would hurt her feelings? If I cared about her feelings I would put a ring on it.. I just want to smash!
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT Only Bi sexual women are in a position to judge other women… and maybe Bi-curious . Man Law.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger ZoneThis morning I cut down some wood while watching Britney Stevens take TWO in her danger zone. TWO. You need more people. Or some lube. Or a white girl.
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong Maybe that is your problem? Maybe you should tried to be the best in bed instead of being on the bottom with your lazy behinds all damn day. I want to be the best that ever lived. Is that possible, no. But good things will come from my effort.
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary I know I'm the atheist on this board and all.. but wouldn't that make it incest? Shouldn't I be Joseph?
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex Sometimes yes, Sometimes no.
Uuuum, thanks? I don't know whether to be offended or flattered.
*takes notes*
CHeeKZy will say anything to smash.
LMAO! For the record, honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. If all you want to do is smash, just be up front, it might take you farther than you think. Although, you'd be forfeiting the right to approach #4.
Also, I love how you put serious relationship in quotes like it doesn't exist.
I'm not mad at Tiger's swag because he has the money to do what he wants and his wife may be embarrassed but I wouldn't mind being embarrassed as I'm draped up and tricked out. #getmoney
I just have a problem with dudes making commitments to broads who would probably sleep with them ANYWAY. Trust, if you thought this chick was going to get buck in the bedroom with you, she probably still would… but now she knows what it is. Why lie unnecessarily? I mean, I'm the type of chick who would steal some sh*t people are giving out for free, but I don't have the time to construct all these alternate realities just to spare some random piece's feelings. #peepgame
You're right, women don't need to be judging other women unless they want a taste for themselves, but I think the point of that section was to illustrate the low quality of a woman's character not her smash potential or lack thereof.
Oh, and can SOMEONE let me know what it is with white girls and anal? You'd think they were born with a d*ck in the ass the way they just hop on and off that sh*t.
Preach! This is sooooo on point on every level.
Another thing I don't understand about men is asking "Was I the best/biggest/freakiest… you ever had?" Why?! Why? Why? Why? Just do what you can to keep her coming back & don't worry about the last dude. I answer those questions by saying, "I don't answer those questions." You'll be frustrated but you'll get over it.
I'm just tired of those "Imma ask this question even though we both know 9 times out of 10 you're going to be lying to me" situations. They age me. Why are we even having this conversation if it is complete and utter bullsh*t?
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends:
This one I can understand, actually. A woman provides different things for a man than his friends do. Just because he spends a good deal of time with his friends doesn't mean anything… just when they become disrespectful towards you and your relationship or when he starts to be inconsiderate of your feelings in order to cater to theirs is it really an issue.
Not to mention, I'm not the type of chick to be sitting around whining about what you're out there doing. If you make plans with me, I expect you to stick to them… everything else is what it is.
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single:
This one pisses me off. Don't get in a damn relationship if you don't want to be in one. It's not that hard. It's just that "having your cake and eating it too" complex a lot of men have where they may not be ready to wife up the cookie but they definitely don't want another man sampling the sugar.
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
Watch "Why Did I Get Married?" (Tyler Perry's one movie that isn't completely chock-full of coonery or cliches) and pay special attention to Mike and Sheila's relationship and the 80/20 Rule.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Men watch pron and they also have active fantasy lives, both of which involve sex that isn't exactly the norm. Not to mention, apparently it feels great for the guy even if it feels like absolute f*cking hell for the girl.
I don't care who you are or what you mean to me, I definitely am not spreading the cheeks for you unless it's something I wanna do. I already lost my virginity once, I'm not hot to do that sh*t again.
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong
Yes they do. They have a social obligation to knock the p*ssy out the park on the first hit or they won't get a call back. If I test drove a car and it had sh*tty brakes and didn't take me past the first light, I would not be buying that muhfucca. Same idea, at least for me, concerning a dude. If the chex game is WHACK, get back!
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary
Does it even matter? Women lie on their numbers all the time anyway. Somewhere between 6 and 10 is usually acceptable to most men, depending on age, where you live, how many long-term relationships you've been in and how many people in your social circle
that know all about your ho sh*tthat he knows.7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex
Everyone does this. It's just that women feel less free to sample all the flavors of ice cream because of ageism in society. I think the older and more mature a man is, though, the better adept he will be at choosing the right woman for him and staying through the rough sh*t.
Two words….well said!
#2 #2 #2
My biggest problem with a guy is one who goes into a relationship knowing d@mn well that he doesn't want to be in one! I'm also not down for the "never showing feelings" man law.
Although I must say I'm certainly not against any many trying to be the best I ever had. Nope. Not.At.All.
1. Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Time With Your Friends
This has two sides: First, there's the dramatic, over exaggerating woman who thinks that you should constantly be around just to be around. Men like to play and we have toys. Sometimes, the relationship isn't playful. Too many people get into relationships and have down packed the "serious" and "grown" aspects. Can we have fun too? Secondly, there's the situation where the woman has to no place in her guy's schedule AND she lives with him. The later, this ish is a mystery to me as well… This usually happens when there was no sex to even begin with, otherwise homie would be at home probably get it in then taking you out to dinner/movie/miniature golf afterwards.
2. Getting Into A Relationship When You Want To Live Single
Yeah. Some wack mofos do this just to smash… But this also happens due to general indecisiveness and even pressure from the woman sometimes to move out the 'gray area.'
3. Lose A Good Woman, Then Wife Up A MuskRAT
Whatever… You may be talking about physical appearance or credentials or anything… Women naturally try to compare themselves to the what ever mental sum-up of another woman. You don't even know her… And if you're talking about looks (women mostly ARE), it says nothing on how they function or interact. Quit hatin'… Maybe you just wasn't as great as you thought… And yeah, he's telling you're great now b/c he still wants to smash. That is all.
4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Whatever… This is personal preference. I've had women to request it. Call it "unnatural" all you want, but so is putting your mouth/tongue on or around other person's genitals. But we all like to receive that though… #hypocrites
5. You Don’t Have To Be King Kong
Bwhahaha! Stop playing… So why should a man not strive to be the best for his lady? Not til the point of insecurity, but are you really downing improvement? You don't have to be the biggest to be the King. And yes, for the lady I marry, I want to be the best is all areas of the relationship. problem?
6. You Are Not Jesus And She Is Not The Virgin Mary
I've met sane virgins that became crazy once they lost their virginity. According to this exact same group of women commenters, sex is a emotional experience for a women naturally. Not saying that women can't handle NSA situations, saying that it takes practice to know when to distinguish love (or really just 'something sweet') from sex. But with the right person it's called 'making love' for a reason… But too many women start to think the 'right person' is the person they're having sex with on that basis alone. Nah ma… Probably NOT.
7. The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side Complex
This is funny. I've actually known more women to do this than men.
"4. Trying To Gain Access To The Danger Zone
Whatever… This is personal preference. I’ve had women to request it. Call it “unnatural” all you want, but so is putting your mouth/tongue on or around other person’s genitals. But we all like to receive that though… #hypocrites "
STOP THE COMMENTS. STOP THE COMMENTS!
This is the greatest statement in the history of the world. Meteor just shut down the thread. He just shut down the thread. Amazing.
FABULOUS!!! Especially #3 wow… I can relate to that one TO THE FULLEST DEGREE lol in terms of being that "good woman"…I have my answer to 3 and am quite content in knowing it is NOT me LOL! Or other "good women"…but I digress…LOL thanks LJ!
Off to visit your own blog now…good work SBM in spicing up the blog with a female perspective.
#1-Sometimes we take it too far with the "He spends too much time with his boys". Let there be a balance.
#2-A good amount of the time we can tell when we run into this kind of guy or maybe experience has taught me enough.
#3-Sometimes its true, other times we are just hating. You might not be good for him (and vice versa)…doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't make her a muskrat (also had to come to terms with this). We are all Muskrats to someone else. Move on and let him and the "Muskrat" be.
#4-To each his own.
#5-Cosign but I don't mind if the Hubby's goal is to be the best I will ever have, that should be my goal too.
#6-True
#7-This applies to both sexes. Love that person that is giving a rat's tuckus about you today.
#3. Watched my Dad endure this. Lost a decent woman [step-Mom] and moved a hoodrat in after S-M bounced. Glad stupidity isn't heriditary.
#4. Never really understood the appeal of anal. Doesn't seem like it'd be too enjoyable for her and anything that increases the odds of getting choc fudge stains on my 400 thread count sheets is definitely no bueno….
#6. Don't get this one either. Only had 1 virgin and it wasn't fun for either of us. Nothing wrong with an experienced woman. She'd probably be more likely to TELL YOU what she wants instead of just laying there…
On 1, sisters should pay attention, DO NOT pull the "are you gay" card. In the hood where I'm from that's a death sentence and the sisters use that as an easy excuse when they should know better. Way too many straight guys get assumed to be pitching one side just because of things like "he sounds white" or doesn't live up to some fake "alpha male" persona.
I'm just saying, there's a way to deal with this issue besides being ignorant and homophobic. i.e. maybe you need to have a conversation about how much time you expect—instead of expecting the guy to read your mind?
2, 3, 5. cosigning 10 times.
on 4, all people have a right to their boundaries, but others have the right to bounce if they don't like those limits. But just randomly 'going there' without adequate preparation or communication is a definite red card.
6, cosign with reservations. It's one thing if someone has like 4-5 partners, it's another if they ran trains on the football team or got with every Devon, Tyrone, and came back with 2 STIs and 3 babies. The right to have one's past be the past does have reasonable limits.
At 6, I only have two things to say:
"It's not what you know, it's what you can prove." Denzel Washington, Training Day
"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except herpes. That sh*t will come back with you." The Hangover
If everyone can see the byproducts of your nighttime tomfoolery (i.e. a smattering of the simplex across your lips, 50-11 children born alarmingly close to each other, a HAZMAT unit coming to remove your separate used condom trash can every other Tuesday) then you can't and won't fool anyone. But if you're not a complete dumb-a$$ and you don't splash your sh*t all over Facebook (go on http://www.lamebook.com and you'll see why there should be an IQ test before people are allowed to have social networking pages), you can usually get away with lying on your past. USUALLY.
The Truth is fellas, if there was ABSOLUTELY no truth in this matter then you would not become so upset. I am not speaking simply from my experience about these 7 things, I am speaking from your mom' s experience, your sister, your Granny, your Auntie, your current girlfriend, your female neighbor, your teacher, the lady who flipped your chicken at KFC. The crap has been going on for years . I am not making this up trust. Now is the time to give up the illusion and stop justifying bad behavior with cheap shots. You are avoiding the point.
LJ KNIGHT
who's upset? i know i'm not because most of this list doesn't apply to me. just like the women got mad when the list about women was posted right? you need more people.
Am I the only one who noticed that the major thing that caused an uproar was the anal comment? LOL
simply amazing right? LOL
**making a mental note not to bring up anal with the SO unless he does it first to avoid a Tekken-style fight**
Exactly…LOL!!!
Right now, I think #3 is speaking to me. Let me go make amends b4 something gets out of hands!
***ROUND OF APPLAUSE!!!***
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! This post was too true and yes men need to read this!!!
1. Hang out as much as you want that's how you will meet her replacement.
2. Stay Single – FOREVER
3. Damn near every woman I met though she was a good woman lol. Sorry 98% of ya'll are not.
4. Fellas you can always gain access to somebody else's woman danger zone but yours, so make sure not to call her you woman.
5. I always need to be King Kong. If we told women they was aight in bed they would kill themselves.
6. If I even suspect a woman has had more partners than me it's curtains, I don't mess with sl*ts (yeah it's a double standard but I can do that), and you will never know so I assume they all are until I find out otherwise, which usually never happens.
7. Fellas the grass is MUCH greener in Brazil, Columbia, Costa Rica, Argentina, etc.
Hot post, however…
1. Expect you to cook and clean for me? BUZZ! Wrong? This is 2010. I probably do that better than you do, so holster that chicanery.. Also, I'm different around my friends. We all are, it's a fact. Unless your cool with me joking about sleeping with your mother, discussing Tyson vs. Ali, sex with other women in the past, and farts, give us time to hang out with our friends. Chances are we've known them longer than we've known you.
2, 4, 5, 6…You have to chalk that up to natural male arrogance. No one can ever accuse of being the smartest species to convert oxygen to carbon dioxide. Your best bet is a cockeyed glance and the phrase "Negro please!" That usually makes us think twice. Shit, you know what? Do it again, cause we need to think a third time.
3, 7…
Ease up. These aren't gender specific. Women do these too. Many a good man has been dropped for Cleofis, the neighborhood Stringer Bell wannabe (He's so exciting! Oh shit, where's my wallet?) or one of the hundreds of aspiring rappers, club promoters, producers, or ballers. Hey, that's cool. I can take my modest, but reliable income and enjoy life. Find that wallet yet?
ALL those 1 thru 7 ….TRUTH.COM to the Nth Degree! Thank You!