Yes ... even he counts
One topic that has always been quick to start a riot here at SingleBlackMale.net is the “magic number” … yes … how many people you f*cked. It’s came up when I talked about determining hoe status and when handing down the 10 pre-engagement questions, I even expanded and talked about “The Magic Ratio” … which really is more important than the number alone.
Anytime this topics comes up … so does the fighting. Some want to know … some don’t want to know … some refuse to tell anyone and plan to take it to their grave … other’s write it on their forehead every morning just so they don’t forget have no shame in the game … other’s can’t remember and gave up counting. Whatever your personal view it’s wrong if its not full disclosure, that’s between you and the boo.
One thing that I inherently hear from some woman is “well … I don’t count some of my guys. Why should you impact my count if you were [bad, a one night stand, a birthday “gift”, or some other dumba$$ excuse]”.
Well, in our quest here to educate, inform, and stimulate enlighten the female population, I am here to present the final list of guidelines to determining if “he counts”. But do remember … when in doubt … that n***a counts!
He got at least one pump
Yes … just one pump. If he gets the more than the tip in (tips only count as half), then I must tell you miss … you just had sex. He will forever be engraved in that plaque in your head of every guy you have slept with, never to be removed. Even if you stop him, you hear a gunshot, or he prematurely ends the love making session after said pump his wife comes in at that moment with a gun … you’ve had sex.
The sex was bad
This has always been the dumbest thing to me. How is it that bad sex doesn’t count as sex? Where else in life is that valid or work? Does a bad steak mean you didn’t eat? Does a bad job mean your unemployed? Does a bad movie means you didn’t go out? I don’t care if it was the worst 2 minutes of your life … that sh*t counts!
You were high drunk
This excuse always makes me laugh. Oh man … if only I could absolve myself of all the bad things I’ve ever done while drunk. There would be more than one person I never cursed out, more than one random a$$ I wouldn’t have grabbed, and at least one incident of me gangsta walking in McDonald’s at 4am while singing “Don’t Save Her” to my simping roommate other embarrassing moment. Simply stated … you might not have thought it through, and if you were passed out … well … that’s a legal issue and he’s going to hell … but otherwise, go ahead and add another notch the headboard.
It was your birthday/valentine’s day/sister’s wedding … and you were lonely
Uh … yeah … you might have felt bad … he might have looked like a Jerome from Martin with a single tooth in his month and he only gave you the 3 lackluster pumps before collapsing and snoring loudly for an hour before getting kicked out … but … he counts. Nowhere else in your life do you get to just discredit stuff because you were vulnerable at the time. example: “Naw man … I don’t owe you any money … I was all emotional at the time … how bad you need $500 anyways?”
And to be fair … let me talk to my fellow guys … break it down for the other side.
You got the tip in
Yeah n***a … you smashed!
Yeah … we’re multiplying … not dividing. Ain’t no guy subtracting from their number (to another guy or in their head) … although ou might wanna black out Sheneneh’s name … cause we all got some names we might wanna forget.
So go forth, revisit that number, and adjust accordingly. And remember … when in doubt … that ninja counts!
Interesting…I've heard a couple of those excuses from folks.
Question for the masses: do you count folks who only perform oral sex on you? I know way too many guys who don't count the number of women who have given them head in their "number", which to me is wack. The operative word in oral sex is "sex" and thus it should be counted in the number of partners. Am I alone in that thinking?
@Jubilance
Yes, you are very much alone on this one. I cannot comment further without incriminating myself.
The old ladies say:
You're a ho (not whore–cus they get paid) if you run out of fingers to count the number of men you've slept with.
The young women say:
If you didn't sleep with him THREE times, it doesn't count.
I say:
Your number is too high when you can't tell your daddy.
LMAO, this is hilarious. Agreed.
everyone counts. I remember in college my BFF and I instituted the "criteria of not counting" and the biggest ones were if we didn't come or if it was less than 5 minutes long. LMAO. we were 19 and being silly. But yes, everyone counts. shoot, some of my best sex in life has been while high "under the influence" so why wouldn't I count that? I don't know how I feel about only the tip in though…..what if it goes limp immediately afterwards? how can any respectable man count that? LMAO.
I understand why men don't count head, but I don't I've ever known a woman not to include head in her "number". hmmmm.
according to hostess my number is too high, why the hell would I tell my dad anyway? he can assume that the only man I've ever slept with is the father of my future children if that makes him sleep better at night! LOL.
@Jubilance: I was going to address the whole oral sex thing … but figured I'd leave it out.
Personally, I keep a double count. So I will be like 10:13, or 5:7, or … whatever. The first being the girls I've "penetrated" … the second being ones who got some type of stimulation … or gave it. The rules for the second number is "was anyone's genitals stimulated?"
I remember this being important as a teenager (18/19). I remember it being mildly important when I was in my 20's. Now that I am in my 30's – who cares? Do your HIV and STD tests come back negative? Cool, then who you have slept with had sex with or given/taken oral sex with is simply irrelevant, unless it was a.) some dude, b.) my relative or c.) one of my best friends.
Now let me ask you – WHY is it important (other than you think it makes a girl a ho)
What about fractions in decimals? It's an easy way to acknowledge that the act happened, but also acknowledges the qualifications/mishaps written above. There's obviously a reason why one may not want to give full acknowledgement and the fraction/decimal could represent why. For example, one could say she had 2.5 partners. The "0.5" is the first guy who didn't even get to bust cuz it was wack and his penis was the size of a pencil. I'm just saying, I reserve the right to at least qualify the dick.
@Reecie: I don't think I've ever met a woman that did include head in her count. One girl literally said "any n****a willing can eat me out … that's nothing".
SBM…now that I think about it you are right. I've heard that too. and I also think the chicks that say that are in denial about their sex life, lmao. Because if they did count that they'd be on same the hoe register they like to put other people on!
@RunningMom: See … I knew this was gonna come up. The inevitable "why is it important" discussion.
The single best answer to why it matter prolly came from Slim. Basically … history is important. Its not the end all be all, but there is something that are strong indicators to the future … and if she sold her body for 5 years … well … I can't overlook that.
Does that help?
Church.Tabernacle.Synagogue.Mosque!
Everything counts, and Whole numbers, no fractions!
I dont keep a running count for head, as vaginal insertion of my strombone into a vivacious female is the only criteria for a number!
It trips me out how ladies try to subtract from their number. Its like playing a bad game of pickup b-ball: You dont glorify it because it sucked, but that doesnt mean the game never occurred.
LOL @ the tip-in. I may need to retool my #s then, because the tip to me is like the borderline of dry humping and insertion, so if I dont get >50% of the magic stick inside, then I consider it a no-go.
If you're in your mid-late twenties, you should expect whoever you're with to have at least 10-15 under their belt. That includes men and women. If that's too much for you, I don't even know that there's a church that could satisfy your minimum. Personally, I haven't been asked this question in years(at least 4). But when it came up, my answer was always don't ask, don't tell because any number you give a female is bad and vice versa. In reality, none of us wants to know the exact number. We just want to be entertained with your answer. But if you're really feeling someone and this question will determine your future with them, you might as well both get tested because that's what is really important.
I actually wrote a long facebook about this and then I got off facebook so I can't access it, but in a few months, i'll post it so you guys can check it out.
Listen, women can count whatever they want to count. I don't care, I don't believe you either way. If you say 5, I say 15. If you say 50, I say 150. So just stop counting if you want, I don't believe you, you need more people.
And the official rule on head is if you've given 7 guys head, that's one in the vag. 7 in the smooch is 1 in the cooch. So these perpertrating girls who only gave head, they can go 'head.
If head counted…
(BLATANTLY CHANGING SUBJECT)
I agree with H. Charles. Get tested, the health and safety of you and your partner is what is really important. All that other stuff, especially with grown, sexually active people, is for the birds. UNLESS he/she smashed the homies.
@Streetz: I'll admit … I've never had a situation where just the tip went in … but I figure someone has. If you don't get a full thrust in … it might be worth noting (hence the .5) … but not sure that counts as a full smash.
I'm going to have to agree with Rastagirl. Why does a dude deserve a whole number when all he did was get the tip in or when he just ate the box with no reciprocity?
I never understood man's logic to determine a wife/S.O. you want a lady in the streets, freak in bed. I get it. We give your our #'s then we're automatically deemed as a hoe, slore, scallywag, bizza, [insert whore adjective here] if our number is higher than 5. But duh you fools, the only we get freaky in bed is if we try out certain shit. Hence making our numbers go up. Whats wrong with a girl having a high number? As long as everyone is SAFE and tested with a clean bill of health, everything should be gravy baby.
You will not find a virgin on the face of the earth – they're extinct. If she tells you she's a virgin, she's either lying or gives amazing head.
@ashbunnie – I KNOW A VIRGIN! And honestly at one point it pissed me off, but now I realize she's going to make some man extremely happy.
However, we agree… she does give the heady whoppy for surey.
@SBM & Streetz – this tip phenomenon can only be settled by women. I actually have defined sex as if you have given yourself the opportunity to get her pregnant or catch something, you had sex. So sticking the tip into infest cooch can get you an STD. You can't go to the doctor and say, "Well Dr. J we almost had sex, and that's why I need a shot of penicillin."
@SBM
Classic case
1) You about to insert get close and then "no, stop, chill, we have to stop" Mom taught me when a woman says no, Scotty signals the red alert and we hit warp 6 out the crib. Engage!
2) Shorty hasnt had sex since 1906 and the work you're doing to insert is similar to a mining project in the Antartic. After a while, you may just throw in the towel and retreat like Cobra Commander an em
Running Mom – I FEEL YOU! Why are these silly nuccas asking about numbers? If a man asked me about my number at this age (30) I would write him off as immature and leave him be. And no, my number ain't that high, it's just my business. Besides, as Dr. J wrote, who is gonna believe you anyway? This is what my 3rd eye hears when men ask women about their magic number:
"Please lie to me. My ego is feeling extra sensative today and I need to feel like there were no – or at least very few – men who've been where I want to go. So please, lie to me and tell me that you are virginal and have no comparison for the wack d*ck I'm trying to give you. Only 2? YOU'RE LYING, YOU SLUT! Can't trust these hoes…*grumbling off to his corner with baby oil and kleenex*…"
End scene
Ok, so that might not be your inner monologue when you ask – but it sure comes across that way, lol.
But seriously – Quit playing games, get TESTED and grow up. Your life depends on it, not some chick's magic number.
A great frat brother of mine once said, (at one of those cheesy campus forums like, "Why men cheat?" "Are all men dogs?" "Do black men love?" can't really recall), "Don't ask how many. Because even if she says 2, you're going to be like, "2! 2! OMG, so am I number 2 or 3?! I can't believe this!"
Awwww the elusive virgin, where do you even find those these days?
I honestly wish I still was one, without the weirdness that often accompanies it of course. I'm actually working on celibacy but I'm failing miserably.
Negro, please! Men refuse to claim their numbers, too. That hookup that happens in the pitch dark, but you're scared to reveal in the daylight? That boy that became a girl after one too many, or after too much time. Or that chick from around the way, that's been every which way, but you claimed hadn't been your way, because you were way to good for that.
Whatever. Boys and girls *both* have magic numbers.
I honestly don't know why women get so upset about a n***a wanting to know the number. I mean … I have yet to really judge a woman for having a "high" number. And to me … over 100 is high … outside of that I prolly don't care about it a lot.
What I do have a problem is if you keep having stories abotu some random n***a you smashed off. I mean … if your 35 partners was 75% one night stands … then I do care.
And I don't know where these soft dudes getting so emotional are at? Yes … she smashed someone before me … but its me that she is gagging on right now … so why do I care?
On a sidenote … I'm going to go ahead and confirm that virgin's do still exist. I have seen them with my own eyes … and after calling them boldface liars … I was able to validate the claim through my elaborate testing methods.
But I think I'll find a unicorn before I find another one
sbm:
"Personally, I keep a double count. So I will be like 10:13, or 5:7, or … whatever. The first being the girls I’ve “penetrated” … the second being ones who got some type of stimulation … or gave it. The rules for the second number is “was anyone’s genitals stimulated?”
*shrugs shoulders*
this is how i count my numbers. although i've rarely had one with out the other. so its more like 10:1 or 30:2.
@SBM – If she gags on you, she gagged before. Now do you watch her when she's brushing her teeth? I watch these hoes like the time. If you can't brush your teeth good, i'm concerned. Chick expects me to kiss her? Nah b.
To all: I actually specialize in finding virgins. Not that I sleep with them…. regularly. But if you want to know of a few I can show you. They're actually have a happy hour later this week it's co-sponsored with Unicorn ENT. and Leprechaun DOT COM.
I dont need to know a womans nuumber. In fact, the only # I need to know is your STD %. If its > 0, we have a problem
Houston!The only other concern would be if you got a train ran on you and if i know sd train conductors. Then and only then will I question your #, lol. Other than that, I know the damage men AND women do. Live your life.
Also, if dudes been with a chick before me, so what? You think when you go to buy a whip that other people didnt test drive the same car? No matter how many dudes adjusted her side mirrors, dropped her seat back, checked out her interior, and asked about her incentives, you're still a happy customer when you cop the v, so breathe easy!
@streetz – i'm still requesting a carfax report though.
Ladies- NEVER ANSER THAT QUESTION!! You cannot win! LOL No answer is a good answer…
29. Dr.J
May 18, 2009 at 4:54 pm
@streetz – i’m still requesting a carfax report though.
^^^
Synagogue on this post!
i haven't read the comments yet (i'm trying to get something in before my computer freezes on me again), so my apologies if i repeat something that has been said already.
i just think that some girls use these wacky calculations because they are ashamed of their number, whether it's because the number is super high, or too high for them personally. can't say that i am one of these chicks, though. i am not embarrassed about my number, so if asked, i'd tell the truth.
I understand the concept that men want experienced women, but don't want them to have the high number. I have a low #, can't even use the fingers on one hand to count! And I'm almost 40 years old! That's what keeps me from getting out there and dating-the fear that I'm not experienced ENOUGH! I'm jsu one of those shy chicks-i can't just smash any and everybody. So how do I get experience without doing it? There's the conundrum.
@ SBM – Um no! Selling yourself as a sex slave for 5 years is different than how many people you have had sex with – two completely different questions. That's like asking someone how many jobs they have had vs. asking someone if they ever sold crack for a living. Now really, don't you think you should maybe get to know a girl a little bit better BEFORE you sleep with her?
@ Anna N – I agree, if you are over 30 and you are still asking that question, I don't have time for you. And I think my thought would be right there, but honestly I haven't been asked that question in a long time. I date men, and men know better than to ask a 30+ year old woman how many men she has slept with in her LIFETIME. Like you said, they either don't really want to know the answer or they won't believe you. You should know a woman's character BEFORE you sleep with her and if you don't – then you have no business sleeping with her anyway.
Damn I hate I missed this!!! I have a don't ask don't tell policy. But once you get to know each other and through various conversations you learn about their past, you can figure a number. My last dude is 33 and through stories I figured at least 8, I know that number is even higher. But whatevs… I benefited from his experiences lol.