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Every single guy can be thrown into one of two categories. Sure, we are more varied than snowflakes, but we all have somethings that we all do. So every single guy can get one of two labels … funny or not funny.
I, a member of the funny category (my mama says I’m funny), have used this ability to my advantage for years. I’ll make you smile, make you giggle, and make you enjoy yourself … all in attempt to beat that box make you fall in love.
But … this doesn’t always work. In the past I have found myself pitted in the most severest of atmospheres, the grittiest of environments, a place where a man must adapt and succeed, or fail and fall to the wayside. The proving ground for any Single Black Male, wanna be playa, or general Renaissance Man … yes … I’m talking about the club.
I see my potential one night stand love of my life across the crowded dance room, and make contact. On my approach, I think of a witty opener and approach her with something humorous, witty, and that makes her smile for me. As we continue to conversate converse, I keep her smiling. Joking her about the club, the dude next to us in the silk shirt, the watered down drink that I’m consuming, and the killer … “girl … stop lying to me, I know your not <her age>. Show me your license right now!”.
Now, things are going like they have many times in the past for me. I can already imagine her with booty in the air screaming my name carrying my children and meeting my parents, and I’m sure where things are headed.
But wait … here comes the club’s Billy Dee. Now … every guy in the club is competitions … and their not my concern. But every once in awhile … my poorly planned bathroom break gives the “smooth” guy enough time to erode my work, diminish my lovable humor, and walk off with my future baby’s mama.
While life has already answered my question, I want you to also. Is funny sexy? Does a great sense of humor mean something? Or is strong & silent the real killer combo?
Funny is mad sexy. If you can make me cackle a coupla times, it ups your attractiveness. Means we will have a good time together.
Now for the fellas. I've heard that men are kind of put off by hilarious women who are quick to the punch w/ a comeback. I think I can go joke for joke with a guy (don't believe me? Check my blog). But my humor will never emasculate him.
Is it true? Are you men threatened by a woman who is funnier than you?
It's a double edged sword really. Humor is a great ice-breaker but it can also cause women to not look at you seriously or even worse, make you the goofy, silly friend as she traipses off with the Smooth Operator.
Sometimes just surveying the room and catching the eye ever so slightly can be the impetus that can spur a maelstrom of emotion within that future baby mama you're targeting. Women are innately problem solvers and if you're that attractive question mark, she's likely going to want to find out if you're the answer for her.
laughter…sends oxgen to the brain…makes you feel good…I feel the same way tho… if I can make him laugh…then REJOYCE! I'm in! BUT if I can't make him laugh, then i worry. One of my best male friends don't really laugh @ my jokes or whatever…but i kinda feel like we closer than friends that joke a lot.
LOVERS ON THE OTHER HAND…I prolly just want some ass from you anyway..so, crackin jokes just makes your temporary presence more tolerable. this way we can both feel a lil more better about the fact that we're using eachother ;-P
And also. Could you date someone who you thought couldn't crack a joke if it was an egg in a skillet? Someone whose sense of humor was drier than Lil Wayne's locs.
Just wondering. How important is sense of humor to folks "THE LIST"
Humor is not generalluy sexy and it's seldom a turn on but, the right combination of smooth talk, humor and a hint of intellectualism (is that eveb a word?) will drop the panties!
One of my favorite quotes (I love quotes) is from Marilyn Monroe who said:
"If you could make a girl laugh, you could make her do anything."
natural humor is a good loook.. you tryna do stand-up comedy is a loss
I like women with a great sense of humor.. I dont feel threatened at all… in fact I cant STAND dry chicks! (get it, lol)
I think the smoothest cats r the ones who are versatile in their approach. Can tell a joke, kill chix with the sweet talk, and comes off as a natural Cocksmen in hopes of securing a woman slave for the night.
Funny is a must. I love to laugh..but above all I love to make folks lauff. maybe he is not that funny, but the chick is..as long as the sense of humors match… now that is a deal breaker…smdh when two funny ppl with two different sense of humors hook up..DRAMA!
While funny is necessary – it is also relative.
What I think is funny, some people will not and vice verse. There are few men who are just universally funny and honestly, too much funny – well it doesn't beat out sexual attraction / chemistry. Its a balance.
For example: katt williams is so funny to me – but let Idris Elba walk in… He would only need a little funny to get my undivided attention.
I ono.
Funny matters.
Attraction matters more.
A connection matters most.
B.
Is the staff of SBM.com following me around? I went out with a dude because he was funny. This was the first time I have done that in years. Needless to say, he was so uh 'funny' that before the first course arrived, he and his humor had been neatly tucked into the friendship zone.
The ability to be funny is 'interesting' not secksy. You can't build your whole interaction with a woman on being funny.
While I find that humor helps when trying to bag a woman, nothing goes further than confidence. And I agree with the above….nothing wrong with being "funny" but don't take the jokes too far…she'll never take you seriously.
@Luvvie
Hell nah. I love a woman that can match wits with me.
@ Streetz – “natural humor is a good look…you tryna do stand-up comedy is a loss”
Exactly. Men like this forget that you can’t “try” to be funny and the key to being funny is actually being funny. There is a guy who wants to date my friend, but ruined his chances by trying to be “funny.” She thinks he is annoying and wack.
I definitely appreciate good humor, especially b/c people usually find me to be humorous and I like someone I can laugh with. However, I don’t show that side of myself to everyone b/c I know my jokes are pretty raw and not everyone likes that.
Funny is sexy, as long as you are sexy
A man should be a complete baller, equipped with a mean post game, play D, mid range jumper and hit a 3. Men should aspire to be the Kobe Bryant of talking to chicks. We should aim to be a lil funny, sexy and all of the above. True renaissance men
This topic is right up my alley.
im the funny girl. i love to jone (dc word) , joke, make fun and b silly. im also considered sexy. laughing is fun and one's ability to make me laugh is a turn on. especially if u do it w/o trying. so yes funny is sexy. too serious all the time is wack
i think im both
i love to laugh. so to answer luvvie's question, yes i would definitely date a woman who was funnier than me. i don't understand why one wouldn't. unless a person didn't know when to make jokes and when to be serious.
Oh, funny is super sexy. Sexy-time, panty-dropper, fanning-self sexy. From the time I was in grammar school, I always had a crush on the class clown. Even if he wasn't even all that in the looks department, I developed some small crush.
But anyhow, I co-sign luvvie in that it's the WOMEN who have to ask if funny is sexy. Usually funny men are at the top of the list when it comes to attracting women, but a lot of men are put off by a truly witty girl. Kind of intimidating to them.
Funny is only a turn-off it gets to the obnoxious "always on" territory. And if it ain't natural.
Just to add on the different types of humor and to piggyback off of prior points:
1. There's the stand up comedian: He is never a good look, because he needs other people to affirm him.
2. Making a funny joke to get her laughing, that's a good look. But if she, doesn't react to one of your jokes walk away. Think about it this way, most women will tell you when they like a guy, they laugh at his non-funny jokes.
3) Cynical: I'm very cynical, and this is hit or miss. I can be cynical about other people outside of our conversations or about her. Some women get a little turned on when you tease them a little. NOT A LOT. A little nucca.
4) Cheesy funny: This is a hard one to play, but it can work if you know how to do it. It's making fun of cheesy pickup lines, or saying typical things that will come off as corny.
Now I'm starting to wonder if my infallible wit and ability to entertain has thrown me in the friend zone before.
Hmmmm … wonder.
This is the kind of thing that women used to lie and tell me was the end all be all– "be funny, you'll get ladies that way!"
If you think about it, being humorous/somewhat intellectual = gives ladies what they want, which is an elevated mood, etc. If that's all you give them, all that's doing is warming them up for the "smooth guy" to take advantage of her heightened happy state.
Funny isn't enough, but it's not bad either–I think what you need to do is being funny AND flirtacious/forward at the same time, i.e. touching her at the same time as you are making jokes, making sexual jokes, etc etc. That's the only way to avoid the friend zone–that area where women use you for their emotional needs (to be happier) but yet reward other kinds of dudes who don't provide any of that.
SBM, I hear ya man, that used to be my hang up too. Listening to women tell you that "funny is sexy" will lead you astray.
I've been called witless countless amount of times. I'm more of a fan of natural humor. I won't laugh at your lame jokes or crack a fake smile. You will get the side eye or an eyebrow raise. If you have older (5 years +) siblings, you mature quickly. When I was 9 years old, I had to hang around my older sister (17 y/o) and brother (15 y/o). I like being mature though. People know me as the calm, cool chick instead of an wild loud child.
I've def been cast to the friend zone before because of my sense of humor. Oddly enough, when I became more of a D-head the action picked up.lol.
@ Slim – Assholes finish first. Consistency is key.
Current crush: Funny = Sexy
Usually I fall harder for the strong and silent; something about a mystery keeps me on my toes and more intrigued.
I do enjoy a sense of humor. I [refer to keep things light and airy for the most part. So those strong and silent types must come out their shell eventually.
Funny = Sexy is only caste in the friend zone if funny doesn't out weight Ugly =)…I personally start all relationships in friend zone anyway. Its the best way for me.
I loooove a funny guy! Matter of fact, 5 of the last 5 guys I have dated had an awesome sense of humor. I tend to date men who I need to feel comfortable with as a friend. I am the jokester within my close circle of friends, so it's nice to have someone be that person for me. However, I perfer their jokes to be more lighthearted, as I'm the one who doesn't always pay attention to the overboard boundaries I'm the person who will take it overboard quick, especially if somebody is trying to go joke for joke with me. Don't bring a knife to a gun fight with me.
"I’ve def been cast to the friend zone before because of my sense of humor. Oddly enough, when I became more of a D-head the action picked up."
that last sentence sums it up. I'm quite the jokester but it is true—if you act a little more of an azz you get more.
I love funny men! If we can laugh, we'll get along just fine. I don't, however, like silly men. If everything causes a giggly reaction, I have to wonder…
Um, I think a WOMAN would know what women want. If a woman says it's sexy- it's sexy! end of story.
Just don't try too hard, because shorty won't take you seriously if you do, feel me?
I love people who are just naturally funny without trying… If you're not funny I'd prefer you didn't try to be. I can't really stand someone who is serious ALL the time. I'm not really much of a joker myself… when im funny im really not trying to be at all but I do love to laugh.
Humour is sexy when there's something else that's captivating, or at the very least, interesting about the guy. As long as he's not always trying to play the clown and can balance silliness, wittiness, seriousness and class, a healthy sense of humour can never be a negative. A guy can only get relegated to the friend zone on my end if there wasn't
anyenough attraction there to begin with.