Fundamental Character Flaw (FCF). It sounds simple, but this is a very interesting topic/theory (to me at least). I devised it several years ago back in college while thinking about “Laws of Attraction”. Its also a system that is good in determining whether or not a person is really good for you, and if you can stand this person.

First, the definition

Well … no one is perfect (no matter how much you think you are). Everyone is f*cked up in someway shape or form. Sometimes you have legitimate reasons (Dad beat you, you watched your brother die, your girlfriend left you for brother … you get the idea), but in some cases your just an a**hole or a b*tch! These f*cked up characteristics are defined by me as a Fundamental Character Flaw. Its a permanen, engrained, problem with your character that someone will have a problem with and there is no real chance of it changing.

*Clarification* – Not every problem with a person is a FCF. Certain things are temporary or may improve with time. If your potential wife is a little messy, that may not be an FCF because it may improve over time or she may care about you enough to make efforts towards improving. FCF’s are not getting fixed. Their deep in the core of this person’s belief’s and values. There is a good chance their mama had it, her mama had it, and that sh*t is not going away!

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Now … once you have discovered the FCF’s of the person you are dating/talking to/stalking … and truly verified they are true FCF’s … then you have some decisions to be made.

Some FCF’s aren’t that bad and can be dealt with. Realistically, your going to have to deal with some FCF’s no matter who you end up with, so just pick the combination you can live with. Here I introduce the concept of the “Dealbreaker”. A common enough term, but here I use “Dealbreaker” to mean a FCF that you just can’t deal with (read: time for this chick to go).

Examples of FCF’s

  • Nail Bitter
  • Selfish
  • Gold-digger tendencies
  • Doesn’t like sex
  • Doesn’t give head
  • Lives with mom with no plans to ever move out
  • Puts career above everything
  • Puts everything above career
  • Worships Devil
  • And the list goes on …

Potential Dealbreakers:

  • She loves to have money spent on her and exhibits gold-digger tendencies.
  • He thinks that b*tch is a term of endearment.
  • If you sleep with someone else in a different area code, its not cheating.
  • He doesn’t see the need to work if you already got a “good” job.

So really, you have to ask yourself when you find a FCF if its really a Dealbreaker. Sure she has a little lisp … but are you going to find anyone who can do the things she does with her tongue? Sure he is a little obsessed with his sneakers … but how many other guys are willing to rub your feet everyday as he feeds you. Pick your battles.

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What do people think count as dealbreakers and what are FCF’s that can be tolerated?